Why is the hipster sweating? Because he wore a scarf before it was cool.
Tags: one-liners
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Why is the hipster sweating? Because he wore a scarf before it was cool.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhat do you call it when a singer gets a chance? An opera-tunity!
Tags: one-liners, music
PermalinkI tried dating a cougar once. Turned out she was a cheetah.
Tags: one-liners, animal
PermalinkA father in Iraq gifted his daughter a new bag. The girl replied, "Thanks for the Baghdad"
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhy can't basketball players go on vacation? They aren't allowed to travel
Tags: one-liners, sports
PermalinkHow do you tell the difference between an electrician and an electrical engineer? Ask them to pronounce the word, "unionized".
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkTwo clowns are running for public office... It's funny for me though because I live in Canada.
Tags: one-liners
Permalink"You're hitting the woods well today, pitty you can't stay out of them!"
Tags: misc
Permalinktoo much to pay for corn ([a] buck an ear)
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhy did the cows return to the marijuana field? It was the pot calling the cattle back.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkNo one is listening to you until you make a mistake.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhat kind kind of triangle is a tortilla chip? An i-salsa-les triangle
Tags: one-liners, math
PermalinkWhy isn't there a tax on stuff I DON'T like?
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkFor people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhat did the knight say to the trainee who broke the blade off his sword? You need to get a handle on that.
Tags: one-liners
Permalink"Doctor, Every time I drink coffee I get pain in my eye." "Take the spoon out of your cup."
Tags: one-liners, food
PermalinkIf you find it hard to take pictures of yourself in the sauna... You have selfie-steam issues.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkI didn't lose my mind! I sold it on Ebay...
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkThe Nintendo 64 turned 18 today. Now you can legally blow the cartridges.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkHow do you beat Dr. Doofenshmirtz in a sword fight? You parry the platypus
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkI don't believe in reincarnation, which is strange, because in a previous existence, I did.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkSomebody told me I was condescending today. Since you probably don't know what that means, its when you talk down to people.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkSweet dreams are made of cheese. Who am I to diss-a-Brie? I cheddar the world and the feta cheese, everybody’s looking for Stilton.
Tags: one-liners, food
PermalinkRelationships are like Algebra... You look at your X and wonder Y.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkA schooner, a clipper and a junk sail into a bar, All hands lost.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhat do you call a shrimp that gets run over by a car? Road Krill
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkAn unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkI love how Pit Bull announces himself at the beginning of every song. giving us time to change the song.
Tags: one-liners, music
PermalinkWhy didn't anyone want the free phone cables? Because they were free of charge!
Tags: one-liners
Permalink"Doctor doctor! I feel like a pack of cards!" "I'll deal with you later!"
Tags: medical
PermalinkWhat do you call a snake that's 3.14 metres long? A πthon
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkThe creator of WinRAR was arrested and put on trial. The trial was supposed to last 40 days, but it keeps on going
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkAdam and Eve... were the first people to not read Apple's terms and conditions.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkIf you watch an Apple store get robbed, Does that make you an iWitness?
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkI don't exercise because it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkEvery day I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhy can't a chicken coop have more than two doors? Because if it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkThis fibonacci joke. is as bad as the last two you heard combined
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWho is a grain harvester's favorite musical artist? Hall'n Oates
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkA donkey had an IQ of 186. He had no friends at all though. Because even in the animal kingdom, nobody likes a smart-ass.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkYou guys know how the toothbrush was invented in the south? Because if it was invented in the north, it would've been called a teethbrush.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhat has 5 fingers but isn't your hand? My hand.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkArgon walks into a bar. The bartender says "we don't serve noble gases here." Argon doesn't react.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkOur local cemetery is running out of spaces It’s a grave issue
Tags: one-liners, science
PermalinkWhy can't Harry Potter tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best friend? Because they're both cauldron
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhat do you call two nuns playing a bongo? A conundrum.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhat's the main use for leather in the world? Holding cows together
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkA thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money, so I woke up and searched with him.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkI bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.
Tags: one-liners
Permalink"This little computer," said the sales clerk, "will do half of your job for you. "Studying the machine, the senior VP said, "Fine, I'll take two. "
Tags: computers
PermalinkWhat is the plural of an "Aux Cord" Auxen Cord
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkHow many Apple users does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Once the bulb goes out, they replace the house.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkHow does Chuck Norris sharpen his blades? By shaving with them.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhy do hipsters love Raiders of the Lost Ark? Because it's the first Indy movie.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkTwo criminals stole a calendar. They got six months each
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkI bought a dictionary and when I got home I realized all the pages were blank... I have no words for how angry I am.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkI married a European chess master. He's my Czech mate.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhat do you call an airship made up of lights? An LED Zeppelin
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhat a do a bunch of people in Brazil speak? Portuguese. What does just one Brazilian speak? Portugoose.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhy is leather armor best for sneaking? It's literally made of hide.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkAt the interview they offered me a salary of $20,000 to work there. I told them to add two 0's at the end and they have a deal. Now I make $20,000.00
Tags: one-liners
Permalinkwhy does sour cream have an expiry date?
Tags: deep-thoughts
PermalinkThen there was the model who sat on a broken bottle and cut a good figure.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkThis Mother's Day, my dad got a new car for my mom. He said it was the best trade he's ever made
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkI can hear music coming out of my printer... I think the papers jammin' again
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkTeam has no "I" in it, but it does have a "M" and "E" in it, making "me".
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkShout-out to everyone who is struggling with establishing their identity. You know who you are.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkTwo men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.
Tags: misc
PermalinkAn actual headline: Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted.
Tags: misc
PermalinkMy friend just gave me a presentation on why I should invest in his sword making business. He made some excellent points.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkIf a lawyer can be disbarred can a musician be denoted or a model deposed?
Tags: puns
PermalinkTime Machine. I bought a second hand time machine next Tuesday. They don't make them like they're going to anymore.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkTried changing my password to "14days" but it was two week
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhy can't a Samsung be disguised as an iPhone? Because eventually, its cover would be blown.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkHey, girl. Are you a fire alarm. Because you're annoying and wont shut up
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkSome bloke just told me he was gonna smack me with the neck of his guitar.... I said, is that a fret?
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkYou know the times have changed... When Portugal leaves Brazil without taking any Gold.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhen counting down, I can't stand negative numbers? I stop at nothing to avoid them.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkI’m broke, sad and a disappointment to my parents. But at least I’m not in debt. That’s the one thing I’m given credit for
Tags: one-liners, money
PermalinkI have the talent of doing math with any blade. Mostly long division.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkHow do you make holy water? You take ordinary tap water and boil the hell out of it.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkI shot an arrow into the air, where it went I had no care... then it hit me.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkYou don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkI just gave my cat some 7UP. Now he's got 16 lives.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkA Windows customer said when he closes his windows, they disappear.
Tags: tech
PermalinkWhat do you call an Australian visiting England on vacation? Returning to the scene of the crime.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkRick Astley will lend you any of the Pixar films in his collection, except one. He's never gonna give you Up.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhy are clams so hard to see on the bottom of the ocean? They’re clamouflaged.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhy should you have only one egg for breakfast? Because un oeuf is enough!
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkIf you help a friend in need, he is sure to remember you -the next time he's in need.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkI just watched an Australian cooking show and the audience cheered when the chef made meringue. I was surprised...usually Australians boo meringue.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkHow did Darth Vader know what Obi-Wan Kenobi was getting for Christmas? He felt his presents...
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkI was wondering what my parents did without the internet. and none of my 7 siblings could tell me
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhat religion do ghosts practice? Boo-ddhism
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkFor Christmas my mum bought me a t-shirt saying, "I'm a nudist." I haven't worn it yet.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkMarriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
Tags: misc
PermalinkNext year I'll give up spreadsheets for 40 days and 40 nights... It's going to be Excel Lent
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkI've heard rumors acid is dangerous. Pretty sure they are baseless though.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkA local theater was just robbed of $286 the other day The thieves stole one large drink, a large popcorn, and a candy bar.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkThe best things in life are free and the worst things in life cost only $19.95.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhat packs a punch in your pants? Boxers.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkThe other day I held the door for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkSo I woke up this morning to my dishwasher making a weird sound.. Turns out she was just vacuuming.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkThe price of balloons is said to rise. It's only logical with all the inflation.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhy are there so many people in Boston? They’re Mass-produced
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkDid you hear that in the next fast and the furious movie they’re getting rid of those long fin things on the back of the cars? Ah sorry, spoilers
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkThe similarity of all the people that live is that they are alive and they are living.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWho invented the circle? Sir Cumfrence
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkJust found out I was dating a commie. Guess I should've noticed the red flags earlier
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkYesterday I saw an ad that said "radio for sale, $1, volume stuck on full" I thought, "I can't turn that down"
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkI know the day I gave up exercise. You wanna know? Check my birth certificate.
Tags: misc
PermalinkIt's impossible to be a participant in the march of time and not get a few blisters.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhy is call of duty infinite warfare set in space? Because nobody liked it on earth.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkShout out to my student loan for getting me through college. I don't know how I'll ever be able to repay you.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkHow do you make a trombone sound like a French Horn? Stick your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkAny wire cut to length will be too short.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkOffering fruit to an Australian for breakfast may not make them happy.. ..But a veggie might.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkHow does Darth Vader manage to eat through that mask? He's force fed.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkI recently lost my job at NASA Mission Control... I misheard when someone said "It's lunch time", and sent a rocket up with nobody in it.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkGotta give credit to spiders... They're the only web-developers out there that actually enjoy finding bugs.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkMy local hockey rink just reported their Zamboni driver has gone missing... They hope he resurfaces soon.
Tags: one-liners, sports
PermalinkWhy did Boba Fett work alone? Because he was hunting Solo.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkGrey hair is hereditary - you get it from your kids.
Tags: children
Permalink"Master Yoda, are we on the right track?" "Off course, we are.."
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkI hate when people don’t know the difference between “you’re” and “your”.. There stupid.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhat did the blanket say as it fell off the bed? Oh sheet.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkDid you hear about the eyeglasses maker who moved his shop to an island off Alaska and is now known as an optical Aleutian?
Tags: puns
PermalinkWhy do so many robots live in Africa? 'Cause Botswana.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkI saw two kids damaging my front lawn with a network device. So I modem down.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhy are Jedi so bad at rugby? Because there is no try.
Tags: one-liners, sports
PermalinkWhy do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be called bagels!
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhy did I quit my job in Mexico? It didn't peso well.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhy did the chicken cross the basketball court ? He heard the ref was blowing fouls
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkSilence is golden, because you never have to explain something you didn't say.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkLaugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhat's the worst name for a chain of restaurants? Dominoes
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkI went by the house I grew up in and asked if I can take a look around, but they said "no" and slammed the door on me. My parents can be real jerks sometimes.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkYou’re riding a giraffe and a tiger is chasing you.. What do you do? You get off the merry-go-round
Tags: one-liners, animal
PermalinkOf all the inventions of the last 100 years... the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkThe person who spends all of today bragging about what he is going to accomplish tomorrow probably did the very same thing yesterday.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkVillain : Why is my calendar wrapped in aluminium? Superhero : I’ve foiled your plan.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkHow many american rugby fans does it take to change a lightbulb? Both of them
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWould anyone be interested in being my companion? Asking for a friend
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkHow much do used batteries cost? Nothing, they are free of charge.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkI have an inferiority complex..... It's not a very good one, though.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkI just grilled a chicken for 8 hours. And it still didn't tell me why it crossed the road.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkThe dictionary is the only place where success comes before work.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkThe reason grandparents and children get along so well is really quite simple: They have a common enemy.
Tags: one-liners
Permalink“How much to buy a singing ensemble!?” I asked the clerk. Puzzled, he questioned, "You mean a choir?" “Fine! How much to acquire a singing ensemble!?”
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkI need everyone to wish me luck. I have a meeting at the bank later and if all goes well, I will be out of debt. I’m so excited I can barely put on my ski mask.
Tags: one-liners, money
PermalinkMy magnesium levels in blood have dropped down to dangerous levels!!!! 0mg!!
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkThe can was invented quite a while before the can opener.
Tags: misc
PermalinkLove is a lot like algebra... You look at your X and try to figure out Y.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkI'm positive I lost an electron better keep an ion that.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkI used to be a narcissist. But now look at me
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkFireplace! Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire. That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkI almost got busted for shoplifting candy today... But I got out of it. I've got a couple of twix up my sleeve.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkMy dad left his job. He wanted to pursue archeology. His career is now in ruins.
Tags: one-liners, at-work
PermalinkYo girl, are you a zero APR loan? Because I don't really understand your terms and you keep saying you have no interest.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkDid you hear about the scientists who crossed a porcupine with a sheep? They got an animal that knits its own sweaters.
Tags: animal
PermalinkI ended up in jail the other night and the guys across from me had glued themselves together... It was very confusing.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkI'm getting a little tired of these people coming to my door telling me I need to be "saved" or "I'll burn"... Stupid firefighters.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkStupid one liners everyone should know. I'll start: I recently sold my vaccum. It was just collecting dust.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkDid you hear about the accident at the army base? A jeep ran over a box of popcorn & killed 2 colonels
Tags: military
PermalinkI can totally relate to batteries. I'm not included in anything either.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkI just finished a jigsaw puzzle. It only took me six months, which is amazing considering the box says 2-4 years.
Tags: one-liners
Permalinkwhat is an English teachers favorite cereal? Synonym toast crunch
Tags: one-liners, food
PermalinkIf you play a Windows Vista disc backwards, you can hear satanic chanting what's worse, if you play it forwards, it installs Vista.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkIf at first you don't succeed...work for Microsoft.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhy does Santa only carry pennies, dimes and quarters? Because he is Nicholas.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkMy friend tries to impress girls by drawing realistic pictures of a Ford F-150. He’s ....a pickup artist.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkBe content with what you've got, but be sure you've got plenty of it.
Tags: one-liners
Permalink9 out of 10 Americans are stupid... I'm so glad I'm in the 1%.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkMosquitos consider most people as food, but grandma's an open bar.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkAn Apple store got robbed last night and $250,000 worth of equipment was stolen. Police are confident they can recover both the stolen machines.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkIf 666 is the evil number. Then 25.806975... is the root of all evil.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhy didn't the lifeguard save the hippy? He was too far-out.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhich cheese is made backwards? Edam
Tags: one-liners, food
PermalinkI've just done my part to help the environment. I unplugged 6 electric vehicles that no one was using.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkBeer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy!
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkI couldn't fix your brakes, so instead I made your horn louder.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkIf H2O is water, and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide, what is H2O4? Drinking, bathing, watering etc etc.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkA dog is a man's best friend because it gives no advice, never tries to borrow money, and has no in-laws.
Tags: animal
PermalinkMy life is just like Rihanna's new song. Work work work work work and the rest I can't really understand!
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkHey girl, are you a broken compass? Because I’m not really sure where I’m going with this
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkI saw a lizard. and it became a spotted lizard
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkI miss my old zoology teacher: Mrs. Turtle. Unusual name for a teacher, but she tortoise well.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkI remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday".
Tags: misc
PermalinkBreaking News: A movie theatre has just been robbed of over two thousand dollars. The theives took a large soda and two bags of popcorn
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkSaw a guy at a bar chatting up a cheetah. I thought, "Well, I never - he's trying to pull a fast one!"
Tags: one-liners, animal
PermalinkWhat do you call 2 broadway shows going out for dinner? Play date.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhy didn't the green pepper practice archery? Because it didn't habanero.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhen everything is coming your way, you're on the wrong side of the freeway.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkThor: The Scandinavian god of acheth and painth.
Tags: puns
PermalinkActivate your own virus... type "WIN" at the prompt.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWife: When we were younger you used to nibble on my ear. (The husband starts leaving the room. )Wife: Where are you going?Husband: To get my teeth!"
Tags: misc
PermalinkWhat do you call a Cuban Atheist? Infidel Castro.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkYou know the razor blade works... when there are no reviews for it on Amazon.
Tags: one-liners, at-work
PermalinkWhat's a horrible icebreaker? The titanic
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhy can't our ears hear very high pitched sounds? Because it hertz.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkMy pal is addicted to brake fluid - but he says he can stop any time he wants.
Tags: puns
PermalinkBy law, you are required to turn on your headlights if it's raining in Sweden. How the hell am I supposed to know if it's raining in Sweden?
Tags: one-liners
Permalinkthe flat earth society has members all around the globe
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkRemember, whenever someone says that you're nobody, remember nobody's perfect.
Tags: misc
PermalinkCan't decide if I want to steal some bikes or visit a heavy metal legend.. Either way I'm going to rob Halfords
Tags: one-liners, science
PermalinkMy father was a kamikaze pilot in his youth. Not a very successful one, obviously.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkMy two friends persuaded me to dress up as prepeller blades with them. At first I wasnt sure but now I'm a huge fan.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhat kind of environment do hobbits live in? A hobbitat
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkUsed to have this drama teacher who always said “raising your hand was a waste of time”. He was hands down the weirdest teacher I’ve ever had.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkMy daughter has a math test on Roman numerals. I told her I hope she gets a "C".
Tags: one-liners, math
PermalinkPeople use to laugh at me when I would say "I want to be a comedian" Well nobody is laughing now.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkChildren are natural mimics, who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.
Tags: children
PermalinkDid you hear that they're making a Broadway production based off the dictionary? It's a play on words.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhat did the Squirtle say to the Charmander? Squirtle
Tags: one-liners
Permalinka graphic designer, an astrophysicist, a dentist and an electrician walk into a bar. it was queen and they were playing their first gig
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkThe best way to accelerate Windows is through one.
Tags: tech
PermalinkWhat is black and red? An ape going down a hill!
Tags: animal
PermalinkYou could say a lot of bad things about Switzerland. But their flag is a big plus.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkOne time, my teacher said to dump our Math books. Then she said to get your Social Studies book. Then that became history.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkHalfway to my dream of being a criminal lawyer! Now I just have to work on the lawyer part.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkIf I had a dime for every time I didn't understand what's going on. I'd be like: "Why y'all keep giving me all these dimes?"
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkPoise: the ability to continue speaking fluently while the other fellow is picking up the cheque.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhat is another word for Thesaurus?
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkA fortune teller escaped from prison and became a small medium at large.
Tags: puns
PermalinkOpera: where somebody gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, sings.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhy can’t you play basketball with a sovereign citizen? They are always traveling
Tags: one-liners, sports
PermalinkWhy did the gamer cross the road? Buy the DLC to find out
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhy is Empire Strikes Back the best Star Wars movie? It's a perfect 5/7.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkI can't play loud music on any instrument. It's just not my forte.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhat has a bottom at its top? A leg
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkSwitzerland is a great country, with amazing views and nice people. And their flag is also great, which is a huge plus.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhen does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline becomes apparent.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkI recently had a heated debate with a mathematician about fractions. It's fair to say that our opinions were divided
Tags: one-liners, math
PermalinkMy buddy just lost his job at a cinema that only shows Pixar films... He forgot to show Up
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhat do you call someone with no body and just a nose ? Nobody knows
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWho's Santas favorite singer? Elf-is Presley !
Tags: one-liners, music
PermalinkWhat was Spider Man's major in college? Web Design.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkThe one item you need is always in short supply.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkI've already got a car, but I want to have a DeLorean as well. I would drive my first car every day, but only drive the DeLorean from time to time.
Tags: one-liners
PermalinkWhy can't pirates learn the alphabet? Because they spend years at C.
Tags: one-liners
Permalink