Jokes

View this collection as a list instead of the 3D world.

• What's the capital of Greece? About 5 euros.

  Tags: one-liners

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• 365.25 days on a low-calorie diet - 1 lite year

  Tags: misc

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• Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate the headphone jack.

  Tags: one-liners

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• Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind.

  Tags: one-liners

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• Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them

  Tags: one-liners

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• Did Adam and Eve ever have a date? No, but they had an Apple.

  Tags: one-liners

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• How many country singers does it take to change a light bulb? 2. One to change it and one to sing about how much they miss the old one.

  Tags: one-liners, music

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• Teacher: "Which book has helped you the most in your life?" Student: "My father's check book!"

  Tags: one-liners, money

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• I got called pretty yesterday and it felt good! Actually, the full sentence was "You're pretty annoying." but I'm choosing to focus on the positive.

  Tags: one-liners

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• What's the fastest liquid on earth? Milk. It's pasteurized before you see it.

  Tags: one-liners

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• I don't care what you think you're good at, there's a 7-year-old kid on YouTube doing it better.

  Tags: one-liners, programming

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• IamA Bing search engine AMA. Please. Just ask me something.

  Tags: one-liners

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• I would like to thank everybody that stuck by my side for those five long minutes my house didn't have internet.

  Tags: one-liners, programming

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• My phone fell from the 20th floor, good thing it was in airplane mode.

  Tags: one-liners

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• I've been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now, I think I'll start calling them traditions.

  Tags: one-liners

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• I recently added squats to my workouts by moving the beer into the bottom shelf of the fridge.

  Tags: one-liners, sports

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• Got a new roommate. She cleans my room, I clean hers. We are maid for each other.

  Tags: one-liners

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• Why hasn't Africa ever won Olympic gold in basketball? Because Africa isn't a country.

  Tags: one-liners

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• A man walks into a tailor to buy a tuxedo. He confidently tells the tailor he doesn’t need any assistance. The tailor says "Fine. Suit yourself."

  Tags: one-liners

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• What did the mother lion say to her cubs before dinner? "Shall we prey!"

  Tags: one-liners, animal

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• I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners? Not a fan.

  Tags: one-liners

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• There may be no excuse for laziness, but I'm still looking.

  Tags: one-liners

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• The computer, the greatest invention in life even though it's bad for you.

  Tags: one-liners

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• When I went to Japan on vacation, I didn't see a single ninja. Impressive.

  Tags: one-liners

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• If the speed of light is 186,000 miles/sec., what's the speed of darkness?

  Tags: one-liners

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• I may be bad at telling jokes, but... I am amazing at clickbait.

  Tags: one-liners

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• Life is full of uncertainties...or could I be wrong about that?

  Tags: one-liners

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• How many bros does it take to change a light bulb? None. They prefer Natural Light.

  Tags: one-liners

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• There are approximately 45 seconds between "I'll make us an omelet" and "We're having scrambled eggs.

  Tags: one-liners, food

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• Seminar "How to avoid frauds" is canceled. Tickets are non-refundable.

  Tags: one-liners

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• I’ve made a website for depressed tennis players... The servers are currently down...

  Tags: one-liners, sports

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• Tennis would be way more exciting if they used dogs for ball boys.

  Tags: one-liners, animal, sports

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• People say smoking will give you diseases. What they don't know is that it cures salmon.

  Tags: one-liners

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• When my mom told me to stop acting like a flamingo? I had to put my foot down.

  Tags: one-liners

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• Why did the Dog not answer the phone? Because of no collar ID

  Tags: one-liners

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• Never date a tennis player. Love means nothing to them

  Tags: one-liners

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• There's no reason to be tailgating me when I'm doing 50 in a 35 and those flashing lights on your car look stupid.

  Tags: one-liners

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• I bought a little bag of air today... The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

  Tags: one-liners

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• If you put a slinky on an escalator, would it go forever?

  Tags: one-liners

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• How do you know if someone is hitchhiking or just complimenting your driving?

  Tags: one-liners

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• Inflation: Being broke with a lot of money in your pocket.

  Tags: one-liners, money

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• What's the best part about Valentine's Day? The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale.

  Tags: one-liners, food, money

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• I've been waiting for the bus so long, someone just stapled a lost cat flyer to my chest.

  Tags: one-liners

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• I went to a wedding the other day. Two antennas were getting married. It wasn't much of a wedding ceremony, but it was one heck of a reception!

  Tags: puns

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• I saw two kids damaging my front lawn with a network device. So I modem down.

  Tags: one-liners

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• I'm only here in spirit at the moment, but if you'll leave your name and number, I will get back to you as soon as I'm here in person.

  Tags: tech

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• What is great in the US but awful in the UK? Losing pounds

  Tags: one-liners

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• I regret rubbing ketchup in my eyes. But thats Heinz sight.

  Tags: one-liners

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• I was going to share a vegetable joke but it's corny.

  Tags: one-liners, food

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• Why do a lot of math nerds wear glasses? It helps with division.

  Tags: one-liners

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• Did you hear about the thief that preferred robbing criminals and babysitters? He cleaned out every crook and nanny.

  Tags: one-liners

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• Before the clock strikes midnight on December 31st, be sure to lift your left leg. That way, you'll start the New Year on the right foot.

  Tags: one-liners

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• I broke two of my dads Queen records... Now I want to break three.

  Tags: one-liners

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• I was hooked on auctions after only going once... going twice.

  Tags: one-liners, money

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• Why did the pedestrian path finally crack? It got tired of constantly getting walked all over.

  Tags: one-liners

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• How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise MY hand!

  Tags: one-liners

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• By age 35 you should hate the last three albums by your favorite band.

  Tags: one-liners

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• If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

  Tags: misc

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• I just installed a new app on my phone that lets me know which of my friends are racist. It's called 'Facebook'

  Tags: one-liners

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• My friend and I signed up to win a lifetime supply of skin lotion. He won and I didn't. The worst part is that he keeps rubbing it in.

  Tags: one-liners

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• Who is the worst spy in history? James Bond. Because everyone knows him.

  Tags: one-liners

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• What does Arnold Schwarzenegger say at a bar mitzvah? Muscle. Tough.

  Tags: one-liners

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• You can never lose a homing pigeon - if your homing pigeon doesn't come back, what you've lost is a pigeon.

  Tags: one-liners, animal

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• If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, why isn't anything in the store is free yet?

  Tags: one-liners

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• I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the Internet was a thing. I asked my 17 brothers and sisters, and they didn't know either

  Tags: one-liners

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• A baby's laugh is one of the most beautiful things a person can hear unless it's 3 a.m., and you're home alone, and you don't have any kids.

  Tags: one-liners

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• Thanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I don't really know.

  Tags: one-liners, programming

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• I have the memory of an elephant. I saw an elephant.

  Tags: one-liners, animal

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• If some people didn't tell you, you'd never know they'd been away on vacation.

  Tags: one-liners, at-work

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• Incorrectly is the only word that when spelled right, is still spelled incorrectly.

  Tags: one-liners

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• Wife: When we were younger you used to nibble on my ear. (The husband starts leaving the room. )Wife: Where are you going?Husband: To get my teeth!"

  Tags: misc

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• Why was Cinderella such a bad field hockey player? Her coach was a pumpkin.

  Tags: one-liners, food, sports

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• I applied for a job today and they ask for three references. I wrote, "a dictionary, a Thesaurus, and a map."

  Tags: one-liners, at-work

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• At 23:59 31.12.2015 I raised my left foot off the ground. Just to be sure I start 2016 on the right foot

  Tags: one-liners

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• How do you scare a snowman? You get a hairdryer!

  Tags: one-liners

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• "Raccoons"? Oh, you mean garbage pandas?

  Tags: one-liners, animal

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• What's the difference between a cat and a comma? One has its claws at the end of its paws, and one is a pause at the end of a clause.

  Tags: one-liners

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• What does Jeff Bezos do every night before bed? He puts his pajamazon.

  Tags: one-liners

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• What is the difference between USA and USB? One connects to all of your devices and accesses the data, the other is a hardware standard.

  Tags: one-liners

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• I asked my friend for a sharpened pencil, but he didn't have one. I always knew he was a little dull...

  Tags: one-liners

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• SpongeBob may be the main character in the show... ..but Patrick is the star.

  Tags: one-liners

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• How did the two archaeologists fall in love? Carbon dating.

  Tags: one-liners

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• You gotta feel for kids today, growing up in a world where all the good screen names are already taken.

  Tags: one-liners

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• When you have two choices and you take one away, you have zero choices.

  Tags: one-liners

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• While I was shopping, I saw an ad in a window. It said, “Television for $1, volume stuck on full.”. There’s no way I can turn that down.

  Tags: one-liners

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• 8 P, 8 N and 8 E in an O A

  8 protons, 8 neutrons and 8 electrons in an oxygen atom!

  Tags: misc

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• I want our relationship to be like a Nintendo DS cartridge. If we have any problems, take it out, blow on it, and put it back in.

  Tags: one-liners, programming

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• All I'm saying is there's a reason all the best love songs have the word crazy in them...

  Tags: one-liners

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• The saying "say no to drugs" has always made me laugh. If you're talking to drugs, it's probably too late to say no to them.

  Tags: one-liners

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• How does Darth Vader manage to eat through that mask? He's force fed.

  Tags: one-liners

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• What dog can't bark? A hot dog.

  Tags: one-liners, animal, food

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• I have the heart of a lion, the eyes of an eagle. and a lifetime ban from the zoo

  Tags: one-liners

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• Student: Are well and actually both one syllable words. Teacher: Well yes , but actually no

  Tags: one-liners

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• Q. What's the best kind of triangle to ask out on a date? A. Acute Triangle

  Tags: one-liners, math

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• Why should you have only one egg for breakfast? Because un oeuf is enough!

  Tags: one-liners

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• Ok, what's the latest possible date that I can still make something of my life?

  Tags: one-liners

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• It must be tough for a comedian at a cricket club. He gets the same reaction whether he bowls them over or stumps them.

  Tags: one-liners, sports

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• I hate reality. But where else can you get a good steak dinner?

  Tags: one-liners, food

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• The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

  Tags: one-liners

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• I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.

  Tags: one-liners

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• I never ask my kids to call me, I just change the Netflix password and then don't respond to their texts.

  Tags: one-liners, programming

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• Today I thought of a color that doesn't exist... but then I realized it was just a pigment of my imagination.

  Tags: one-liners

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• Two wrongs do not make a right, but three rights make a left.

  Tags: puns

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• Neil Degrasse Tyson and Mike Tyson have something common... I don't understand what either one is saying, but I know I'll end up seeing stars.

  Tags: one-liners

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• What kind of organization is Atheism? Non-prophet.

  Tags: one-liners

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• How does Chuck Norris sharpen his blades? By shaving with them.

  Tags: one-liners

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• I am right ninety eight percent of the time - who cares about the other three percent.

  Tags: one-liners

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• You are always stranded if the tire bursts in your Apple car. Because it has no jack.

  Tags: one-liners

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• I burnt 1200 calories yesterday! Forgot to take the pizza out of the oven...

  Tags: one-liners

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• We all know that six is afraid of seven because seven ate nine, but why did seven eat nine? Because you're supposed to eat three squared meals per day.

  Tags: one-liners

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• I asked my father how many a couple is. He said, “Two or three.”. Which might explain why his marriage failed.

  Tags: one-liners

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• I don't believe in reincarnation, which is strange, because in a previous existence, I did.

  Tags: one-liners

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• We can copy any document for you. We do not require the original.

  Tags: one-liners, at-work

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• Airport police say that the number of people smuggling helium balloons in their luggage is under control. But cases continue to rise.

  Tags: one-liners, math

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• I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.

  Tags: one-liners

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• The Lazy Bowl Reclining toilet: It's plush while you flush!

  Tags: one-liners

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• Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go.

  Tags: one-liners, money

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• My only talent is sleeping. I could do it with my eyes closed.

  Tags: one-liners

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• Not to brag, but I have sychic powers. For example, right now you’re thinking, “It’s psychic, idiot!”

  Tags: one-liners

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• Why is it so easy to track Santa on Christmas Eve? Because he always accepts cookies.

  Tags: one-liners

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• Why does a milking stool only have three legs? Because the cow has the udder.

  Tags: one-liners

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• My computer crashed a few hours into writing my paper. looks like I'm gonna have to write my name and the date again

  Tags: one-liners

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• My daughters boyfriend still doesn't know how to tie his shoes... Every time I walk in her room that's all she's doing.

  Tags: one-liners

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• What happens if Usain Bolt misses his bus? He waits for it at the next stop.

  Tags: one-liners

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• What kind of fish is made of only two sodium atoms? 2Na

  Tags: one-liners

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• I bought a dog from a blacksmith this morning within 10 minutes of getting him home he made a bolt for the door.

  Tags: one-liners

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• I got voted “Least Likely To Succeed” by my high school class... I hate being a teacher...

  Tags: one-liners

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• Was late to my first Fight Club last night? So missed the intro rules. Still Fight Club was brilliant and I'd highly recommend Fight Club.

  Tags: one-liners

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• My new year's resolution is to stay out of shape. Maybe I won't stick with this one either.

  Tags: one-liners

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• Sure, I may not be in a relationship, but I am three people's plan B and someone's maybe if we're ever the last two people on Earth.

  Tags: one-liners

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• I was at a climbing center the other day, but someone had stolen all the grips from the wall; honestly, you couldn't make it up.

  Tags: one-liners, sports

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• I've been doing yoga for 5 years. It's been a long stretch

  Tags: one-liners

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• My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well.

  Tags: one-liners

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• I have won first place in this Halloween costume contest 16 years in a row. This year I am dressed as a hotdog. I'm on a roll.

  Tags: one-liners

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• I bought a stunning house in the Arctic recently. Gives me chills everytime I step into it.

  Tags: one-liners

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• You never have to worry about love at first sight if you steadfastly keep looking at your phone.

  Tags: one-liners

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• Did you know that you can fit any boat on your head like a hat, if you flip it over? That makes it cap sized

  Tags: one-liners

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• Which hotel chain does Link prefer? HYAAAATT!!!

  Tags: one-liners

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• DMV jokes get old really fast. Unlike the DMV. You have to go through a special line to become old.

  Tags: at-work

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• Hallmark Card: "I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're still here."

  Tags: one-liners

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• A father in Iraq gifted his daughter a new bag. The girl replied, "Thanks for the Baghdad"

  Tags: one-liners

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• What’s it called when a tractor waits for a pedestrian to cross? Crop yield

  Tags: one-liners

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• Why is chess so difficult for British people? Cause they just lost the queen.

  Tags: one-liners

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• Me in my 20's: "Dresses like I'm on the catwalk." Me in my 30's: "dresses like I walk cats."

  Tags: one-liners, animal

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• At the job interview, I asked what is the salary like. They said I'll start at minimum wage and make double of that in two years. Ok, I'll be back in two years.

  Tags: one-liners

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• Remember, as a child, when air for your bike was free? Now it's $1.50! I asked the gas station attendant why. He said "inflation"

  Tags: one-liners

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• what is a 4 person rock group that doesn't play music? mount rushmore

  Tags: one-liners

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• Someone just threw a bottle of Omega 3 pills at me. Don't worry, I only suffered super fish oil injuries.

  Tags: one-liners

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• Tarzan doesn't have a beard. Yet he lives in the jungle for over 30 years.

  Tags: one-liners

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• What do you call friends that you go out to eat with? Taste buds.

  Tags: one-liners

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• What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes? Re-morse code.

  Tags: one-liners

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• I turned on the light to wake up my kids. My 2-year-old turned it off and went back to bed. She used to be the family alarm clock. Now she's the snooze button.

  Tags: one-liners

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• Why was Yoda afraid of 7? Because 6, 7 8.

  Tags: one-liners

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• Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money.

  Tags: one-liners, money

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• Finally got around to watching Back To The Future... It's about time.

  Tags: one-liners

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• Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be called bagels!

  Tags: one-liners

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• A grizzly walks to the checkout line with salmon and honey. The clerk says, "Gotcha. Just the bear necessities."

  Tags: one-liners

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• If your apartment is hit by a dolphin, DO NOT GO OUT TO SEE IF THE DOLPHIN IS OKAY. That's how the hurricane tricks you into coming outside.

  Tags: one-liners

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• A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money, so I woke up and searched with him.

  Tags: one-liners

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• Doctor: “Sir, I have some bad news, I’m afraid your DNA is backwards”. Me: “and?”

  Tags: one-liners

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• If you aren't impressed with the picture of the first Black Hole. you clearly don't understand the gravity of the situation

  Tags: one-liners

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• Team has no "I" in it, but it does have a "M" and "E" in it, making "me".

  Tags: one-liners

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• When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance.

  Tags: one-liners, medical

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• "Where do you see yourself in five years?" "I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision."

  Tags: one-liners

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• No one should have been surprised by the rise of the USSR after World War II. I mean, there were red flags everywhere.

  Tags: one-liners

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• There are 6.02x10^23 guacas in a guacamole, Which is also known as avocado’s number

  Tags: one-liners

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• If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.

  Tags: one-liners

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• if stealing kids is kidnapping,is stealing adults oldnapping?

  Tags: one-liners

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• Nowadays, most of the children dream about an IPhone, when I was a child – I wanted a dog.

  Tags: one-liners, animal

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• What kind of key opens a casket? A skeleton key.

  Tags: one-liners

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• What did the math book say to the literature book? I envy you, you’re so full of stories and I’ll I’ve got is problems

  Tags: one-liners

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• My friend tries to impress girls by drawing realistic pictures of a Ford F-150. He’s ....a pickup artist.

  Tags: one-liners

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• What did the instructor at the school for Kamikaze pilots say to his students? Watch closely. I’m only going to do this once.

  Tags: one-liners

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• This sums up the 90s. 90+91+92+93+94+95+96+97+98+99 = 945

  Tags: one-liners

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• A physics joke. How many general-relativity theocratists does it take to change a light bulb? - Two. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate space.

  Tags: one-liners, science

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• What do you get if you add up all the seconds of your life? A lot of food you probably didn’t need to eat.

  Tags: one-liners

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• What fruit do you eat when you are sad? Blueberries.

  Tags: one-liners, food

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• Why, yes, I am dressed for the weather.I am wearing a house.

  Tags: one-liners

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• I called up GameStop customer support. They told me to hold.

  Tags: one-liners

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• It's so cold outside. I saw a politican with his hands in his own pockets.

  Tags: one-liners

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• What's the difference between america and a bottle of milk? In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture

  Tags: one-liners

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• What's the most sarcastic body of water on earth? The Crimea River.

  Tags: one-liners

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• If laziness was an Olympic sport. I'd come in fourth so I wouldn't have to walk up to the podium.

  Tags: one-liners

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• alarm clock, n. a device for waking up people who don't have small children

  Tags: misc

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• Why is the Australian emergency line is“000”? Because it’ll look the same when your phone is upside down.

  Tags: one-liners

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• What is Mr. T's favorite month? April, fools

  Tags: one-liners

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• Went to quite a few stores to find the best prices for herbs... I think it was thyme well spent.

  Tags: one-liners, money

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• If opposites truly attract, the correct life strategy is to be a loser.

  Tags: one-liners

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• Told a girl to text me when she got home. She must be homeless.

  Tags: one-liners

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• What is Green Arrow's superpower? He can turn left whenever he wants.

  Tags: one-liners

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• A man went to the hospital with a sprained ankle. The doctor said, "Don't worry, you'll be walking in no time." He was. The doctor stole his car.

  Tags: medical

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• My job is secure. No one else wants it.

  Tags: one-liners, at-work

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• I keep telling people gullible isn't in the dictionary. Don't believe me look it up

  Tags: one-liners

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• Mom, thanks for providing me with love that's as never-ending as your voicemails.

  Tags: one-liners, programming

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• A man walks into the doctors and the doctor says, "I've not seen you for a while." The man replies, "Yes, I've been ill."

  Tags: one-liners, medical

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• How do you get past defense? You open degate.

  Tags: one-liners

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• Why does a 6 oz hamburger have less energy than a 6 oz steak? Because the hamburger is in the ground state.

  Tags: one-liners

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• "Say NO to drugs" they say... I mean, if you're talking to drugs then it's already too late to say NO.

  Tags: one-liners

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• My neighboor rang my doorbell at 5 am.. Luckily I was already up, playing drums.

  Tags: one-liners

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• A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..

  Tags: one-liners

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• How does an Apple Watch owner know that it's midday? It's already run out of battery.

  Tags: one-liners

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• For Christmas my mum bought me a t-shirt saying, "I'm a nudist." I haven't worn it yet.

  Tags: one-liners

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• Alligators can live up to 100 years... Which is why there's an increased chance that they will see you later.

  Tags: one-liners

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• If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight. - George Gobel

  Tags: one-liners

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• We child-proofed our home 3 years ago but they're still getting in!

  Tags: children

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• Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn't jump at all.

  Tags: one-liners, animal

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• An actual headline: Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted.

  Tags: misc

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• I have nothing to declare except my genius.

  Tags: one-liners

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• You know what would be a hilarious prank? Make people study for 18 years and dont give them a job.

  Tags: one-liners

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• “Hey Dad, have you seen my sunglasses?”. “No son, have you seen my dad glasses?”

  Tags: one-liners

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• Lawyers really aren't so bad, it's just ninety-nine percent of lawyers that make the rest look bad.

  Tags: one-liners, at-work

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• They say don’t go grocery shopping while you’re hungry. But it’s been a week and I just keep getting hungrier.

  Tags: one-liners

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• Team work is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else.

  Tags: one-liners, at-work

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• My best mates and I played a game of hiding and seek. It went on for hours... Well, good friends are hard to find.

  Tags: one-liners

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• I like my anxiety like I like my distancing: Social, behind a mask, and away from people.

  Tags: one-liners

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• "I'm going to punch your house until you come out and talk to me!" ~ Guy who invented 'knocking'.

  Tags: one-liners

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• We all know where the Big Apple is... But does anyone know where the Minneapolis?

  Tags: one-liners

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• Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the butcher

  Tags: animal

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• What happens if you steel? You have to get Alloy-er

  Tags: one-liners

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• Did you hear about the failed mission to Antarctica? Their journey went south.

  Tags: one-liners

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• What if there were no hypothetical questions?Why does the word 'monosyllabic' have so many syllables?

  Tags: misc

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• Anyone notice the irony behind “hyphenated”. and “non-hyphenated”?

  Tags: one-liners

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• A Prius just tried to race me from a stop sign. I totally had it for the first 100 feet... But I can only walk so fast.

  Tags: one-liners

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• A man escaped from a bear only with a bow in hand. But his friend who got an arrow in the knee was not as lucky.

  Tags: one-liners

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• How does a cup steal from you? He mugs you.

  Tags: one-liners

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• Do you guys remember when I told you about my spine issue? It was about a week back.

  Tags: one-liners

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• Customer: "I'm running Windows '95."Tech Support: "Yes."Customer: "My computer isn't working now."Tech Support: "Yes, you said that."

  Tags: computers

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• What do you call a boat driving in circles for a student's education? An In-Turn Ship!

  Tags: one-liners

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• Why can't our ears hear very high pitched sounds? Because it hertz.

  Tags: one-liners

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• I asked my chemist friend if it took him 4 years to get his degree... He said "Sodium Bromate."

  Tags: one-liners

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• After all is said and done, usually more is said than done.

  Tags: one-liners

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• Want to hear a construction joke? I'm still working on it.

  Tags: one-liners

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• One time, my teacher said to dump our Math books. Then she said to get your Social Studies book. Then that became history.

  Tags: one-liners

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• There are two types of people in this world: Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.

  Tags: one-liners

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• What is the longest word in the Spanish language? Goooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllll

  Tags: one-liners

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• What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.

  Tags: one-liners

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• Why do field hockey players never sweat? They have too many fans!

  Tags: one-liners, sports

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• Two mice are chewing on a film roll. One says, "I liked the book better"

  Tags: one-liners

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• Why do librarians hate tennis? Too much racket.

  Tags: one-liners, sports

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• I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious.

  Tags: misc

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