Every joke I've kept

Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

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What is the new name for a taxi in Oshakati? A computer. Why? It has windows, always crashes, & is driven by a thin black floppy with a virus.

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A kid is asking questions about many professionals, when they urgently need to go to the rest rooms:

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How many teachers does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to turn it the other to grade the person.

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I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer. For several evenings, at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer: "Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us from e-mail. Amen."

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What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose? Hare spray.

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Q: What do you call an Alabama farmer with two black sheep under each arm? A: A pimp

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What do you call a woman with one black eye? A fast learner.

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What's Gray, Has Four Legs, and a Trunk?

What's gray, has four legs, and a trunk? A mouse on vacation.

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What do you call a blonde at a University?A visitor.

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Doctor: What is it that brought you here? Patient: An ambulance. Why?

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Why did the teacher have to put on her glasses during class? Because the kids were to bright!

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America is a land of untold wealth. - Internal Revenue Service.

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Nine cats were on a boat. One jumped off. How many were left? None. They were all copy-cats!

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Once, a blonde decided to ride a horse. She was riding quite pleasantly on a trail in a field until the horse speeded up. He was going faster and faster, and soon she felt herself slipping. Her head was just about to hit the ground... Then the Wal Mart manager ran to turn off the horsey ride.

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I sprayed my dog with spot remover. Now he is gone.

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I accidentally installed the deer whistles on my car backwards. Now everywhere I go, I'm chased by a herd of deer.

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汤姆教授有äo‹ï1⁄4Œæ— æ3•æ•™ä ̧‹åˆçš„è ̄3⁄4。äoŽæ˜ ̄去教室黑板ä ̧Šå†™äo†ä ̧a通知ï1⁄4š Prof. Tom will not meet his classes this afternoon. 有ä ̧a调皮的学生看到后ï1⁄4Œæƒ3跟教授å1⁄4€ä ̧a玩笑ï1⁄4ŒæŠŠclasses前面的c擦 掉äo†ã€‚ 汤姆教授ä ̧­åˆè· ̄过教室时又é¡oè· ̄进去äo†ä ̧€ä ̧‹ï1⁄4Œå¿ä ̧ä1⁄2ç¬‘äo†ï1⁄4Œéšæ‰‹åˆ 擦掉äo†l。

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Why is it that there are so many more horses' asses than there are horses? - G. Gordon Liddy

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A boss of a computer company walked up to one of his workers. "You're fired!" exclaimed the boss. "I didn't do anything!" replied the confused worker. The boss, happy with his answer, says, "I know. That's why you're fired!"

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