Every joke I've kept

How does the butcher introduce his wife Meat Patty

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Waiter, this plate is wet. That's your soup, sir.

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One time, my teacher said to dump our Math books. Then she said to get your Social Studies book. Then that became history.

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What do you do on a remote island? Try and find the TV island it belongs to.

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I didn't mean to agitate the police officer. Water balloons are good fun, but he had to get all mad. Then he grabbed that metal baton thingy. That's a lot less fun than a water balloon. I even said "think fast!" He didn't say that to me when he used the baton on my face.

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There was an old man from Purdue whose limericks stopped on line two.

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3 SQL statements walk into a NoSQL bar. Soon, they walk out They couldn't find a table.

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These guidelines are not hard rules for submitting acceptable jokes, but they will help you submit a jokes that the most people will enjoy and rank highly, thus increasing your score.

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When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.

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Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious-looking bear. The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of sneakers and started putting them on. The second lawyer looked at him and said, "Are you crazy? You'll never be able to outrun that bear!""I don't have to," the first lawyer replied. "I only have to outrun you. "

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It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

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Fish + alien transpotation = Unidentified Frying Object

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One day, Johnny saw his dad got caught on fire. Immeaditly he went to his mom saying, "Mom, mom hurry, dad's on fire, and I brought the marshmellows!" Another day a lady came to the door asking for things for the old peoples fund. Johnny yelled from the doorway to his mom, "Hey mom, there's this person asking for the old peoples fund, shall I give them grandma?"

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Ole is so cheap that after his airplane landed safely he grumbled, "Vell, dere gose five dollars down da drain for dat flight insurance!"

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What do you call something with 4 eyes, 3 noses, 7 ears, and 2 mouths? Ugly!

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Q: Why did the scientist install a door knocker on his door and not a door bell? A: He wanted to win the No-Bell (Nobel) prize!

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Which is heavier, 20 pounds of rocks or 20 pounds of sugar? Their both 20 pounds! doy!

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How many gay people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 8, one to screw it in, and seven to stand back and say "Fabulous!"

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We rated with RSAC i, TM Safe Surf Rated.

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If you're fat. can you still disapear into thin air? If you're fat, can you still have slim chances of doing something?

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