TOP 10 OLD FOLKS' PARTY GAMES1.Sag, You're It!2.Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy3.20 Questions Shouted into your Good Ear4.Kick the Bucket5.Red Rover, Red Rover, the Nurse Says Bend Over6.Doc, Doc Goose7.Simon Says Something Incoherent8.Hide and Go Pee9.Spin the Bottle of Mylanta10.Musical Recliners
— public joke corpus
Why don't crabs share? Because there shelfish!
— public joke corpus
It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt. - Abraham Lincoln.
— public joke corpus
While I was sleeping my friends decided to write math equations on me. You should have seen the expression on my face when I woke up.
— public joke corpus
Two robbers from Puerto Rico felt that the police were getting hot on their trail, so they decided to move far away to Montreal and continue their life of crime in the new city. Unfortunately they just did not quite understand winter. They were arrested the morning after their first break-in. The police just followed their footsteps in the snow from the store to their house...
— public joke corpus
When you have a fat friend, there are no seesaws, just catapults.
— public joke corpus
A golf ball is a golf ball, no matter how you putt it.
— public joke corpus
If a lawyer can be disbarred can a musician be denoted or a model deposed?
— public joke corpus
A detective was questioning a burglary suspect. "Where were you between five and six?" he asked. "In kindergarten!" he replied
— public joke corpus
Why did the chicken lay the egg?Because everyone else was taken
— public joke corpus
At a lecture series a very poor speaker was on the platform. As he was speaking, people began to get up and leave. It continued like this until there was only one person left in the audience. Finally the speaker stopped and asked the man why he stayed until the end. He replied, "I'm the other speaker. "
— public joke corpus
What starts with the letter F and ends in UCK? FiretrUCK
— public joke corpus
I am not a believer in seances, but I went to one just to see what they are like. The psychic was doing his thing and grinning from ear to ear. I assumed his merriment was due to the fact that he was fooling a gullible public and gave him a poke in the nose. You can probably guess the rest. I was arrested for striking a happy medium.
— public joke corpus
One woman to another woman Woman- Those firemen are hot. Other Woman- Yeah they are nice looking. Woman- No. I mean they just came out of that burning building. They're hot.
— public joke corpus
Always on the look-out for a bargain, I was dining out and came across a menu entree "T-Bone* $4.25". I inquired of the waiter how they could sell a dinner at that price. He advised me to check the bottom of the menu. Next to the "*" was "with meat, $14.95"
— public joke corpus
Q: What's the worst time to be a rat or a mouse? A: When it's raining cats and dogs!
— public joke corpus
"I started a new band called The Chimes" "What kind of band?" "Acapella Ska" "What do you play?" "Drums"
— public joke corpus
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced.
— public joke corpus
JUDGE: "The court can produce a dozen witnesses who saw you rob the bank." ROBBER: "Big deal! I can bring in hundreds of people who didn't see it!"
— public joke corpus
Definition of sick:Walking into an orphanage and singing 'WE ARE FAMILY'
— public joke corpus