Did you know that 61.8 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot?
— public joke corpus
Every joke I've kept
Surf instead →allmisc 970one-liners 644classic 417general 345animal 309puns 270children 220light-bulbs 191knock-knock 91at-work 63medical 61programming 59sports 49bar 45tech 42college 28blonde-jokes 23men 19family-parents 18computers 15women 15heaven-and-hell 11crazy-jokes 9business 8deep-thoughts 8military 8holidays 7science 7one-liner 6police-jokes 6money 5school 4bar-jokes 3food-jokes 3idiots 3ocean 3blind-jokes 2dad 2ethnic-jokes 2farmers 2math 2music 2office-jokes 2old-age 2state-jokes 1
Two guys walk into a bar: "Ouch! Oof!"
— public joke corpus
Started a great book the other day - I couldn't put it down. It's called "The History of Glue"!
— public joke corpus
What's invisible and very frightened? A ghost with the sheet scared out of him.
— public joke corpus
A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in the mirror. He asks, "What are you doing?"She replies, "I went to the doctor today, and he told me I have the breasts of a 25 year old."The husband retorts, "Well, what did he say about your 50 year old ass?"She replied, "Frankly dear, your name never came up."
— public joke corpus
If this is coffee, please bring me some tea. If this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
— public joke corpus
If nobody is perfect, and I'm a nobody, am I perfect?
— public joke corpus
Q:Why did Minie Mouse get kicked out of the sand box?A:Becase she sat on Pinochio's face and said "Lie to me Pinochio lie!"
— public joke corpus
A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a drink?". The bartender replies, "For you, no charge".
— public joke corpus
Phillip's teacher asks him, "Can you name the Great Lakes?" Phillip, always fast with an answer, pipes up with, "I don't need to. They've already been named."
— public joke corpus
You know your day is bad if your twin sister forgot your birthday.
— public joke corpus
What do you call a one-eyed dinosaur? Dyouthinkhesaurus
— public joke corpus
On the other hand you have five fingers.
— public joke corpus
Teacher: "Why does an elephant have a trunk?" Student: "Because it doesn't have a glove compartment!"
— public joke corpus
Do you want a brief explanation of what an acorn is? In a nutshell, it's an oak tree.
— public joke corpus
What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?About .....35 pounds
— public joke corpus
Why did the poor dog chase his tail? He was trying to make ends meet!
— public joke corpus
Why did the programmer quit their job? They didn't get arrays.
— public joke corpus
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be called bagels!
— public joke corpus
The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.
— public joke corpus