How do you get past defense? You open degate.
— upjoke.com
Every joke I've kept
Surf instead →allone-liners 4222misc 1013animal 458classic 417general 345puns 264children 219at-work 211light-bulbs 191sports 153food 126programming 121money 100knock-knock 91medical 76science 55math 48bar 41music 41tech 40college 26family-parents 18men 18blonde-jokes 15computers 10crazy-jokes 9heaven-and-hell 9business 7deep-thoughts 7military 6one-liner 6women 6holidays 5police-jokes 5bar-jokes 3food-jokes 3idiots 3blind-jokes 2dad 2ethnic-jokes 2farmers 2ocean 2office-jokes 2old-age 2school 2state-jokes 1
What is Canada’s national board game? Sorry
— upjoke.com
The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron. Which is ironic.
— upjoke.com
What language do metallic fruits periodically speak? Manganese.
— upjoke.com
I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. so I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle. Help??
— upjoke.com
What did copper say to lawrencium? Cu later.
— upjoke.com
I think pennies are made of copper and zinc. But that’s just my two cents
— upjoke.com
What did the copper circle say as it rolled through town? "Cu around"
— upjoke.com
What do you call a detective who just solves cases accidentally? Sheer Luck Holmes
— upjoke.com
I have mixed opinions on Asia as a whole. For starters, while South Korea is absolutely lively, the rest of Asia is completely Seoulless!
— upjoke.com
What was NASA thinking when they decided to fly a rocket into a meteor? Did I hit or didymos.
— upjoke.com
How do you get a philosophy student off your porch? Thank him for the pizza
— upjoke.com
"One man's trash is another man's treasure," is a great philosophy. But it's a lousy way to tell a kid they're adopted.
— upjoke.com
What did the weightlifter say when he ran out of protein supplement? No whey
— upjoke.com
Teacher: Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor? Student: You told me not to use tables.
— upjoke.com
My astronomy professor told me. I was his star pupil.
— upjoke.com
“Hey man, did your Geography teacher tell you what the newest US state is?”. “ I don’t know, but Alaska.”
— upjoke.com
My friend was showing me his tool shed. He pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never met my real ladder."
— upjoke.com
What did Montenegro’s internet domain say when it broke up from Yugoslavia? It’s not .yu it’s .me
— upjoke.com
Americans are bad at clash royale.. They lost 2 towers already smh.
— upjoke.com