Every joke I've kept

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and I'll show you A-flat minor.

— public joke corpus

During a recent vacation in Las Vegas, a man went to see a popular magic show. After one especially amazing feat, a man from the back of the theater yelled, "How'd you do that?""I could tell you, sir," the magician answered, "but then I'd have to kill you."After a short pause, the man yelled back, "Ok, then... just tell my wife!"

— public joke corpus

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

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I went into a restaurant that served 'breakfast at any time'. So, I asked for French Toast in the time of the Renaissance

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An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

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Q: Why do Hondas and Hyundais have standard rear-window defoggers? A: So your hands don't get cold when you're pushing them. Q: What is the difference between a Porsche and a Porcupine? A: With a Porsche, the pricks are on the inside.

— public joke corpus

Did you hear about the blond girl in a coffin?She was the winner of the 1994 hide & seek contest.p.s: writen in the year 2001

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I play in the low 80's. If it is hotter than that, I won't play.

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Q: What is the difference between a fish and a piano ? A: You can't tuna fish.

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I tried to walk into Target one day... I missed

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Last time my friend went to the zoo, he got in trouble for feeding the monkeys... ...to the lions.

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I asked my girl-friend what she would like for her birthday, and she said she would like a green jumper. So I bought her a frog.

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Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had no frontal lobe.

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Do doughnut shops need security systems?

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What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi!

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Why can't a dalmatian puppy hide from his mom? 'Cause he's already been spotted!

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a = b, b = c, a = c. Math Teacher: If a = b and b = c then a = c. Now give me the practical example of this principle from real life. Student: I love you, sir, and you love your daughter, which means I love your daughter.

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Why is seven bigger than nine? Because seven ate nine.

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In a Recent Survey . . .

In a recent survey, 4% of men preferred fat legs; 6% preferred skinny legs; while 90% preferred something in between.

— public joke corpus

Want to hear a chimney joke? Got stacks of em! First one's on the house

— public joke corpus