Every joke I've kept

Why did the tractor sell medicines? Because it was a farm assist! ... I'm sorry...

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What does a triangle call a circle? Pointless.

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"What makes you qualified to be a waiter" I feel like I bring a lot to the table

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Watchmakers. Do you think watchmakers ever take a day off to unwind?

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Accidentally swiped my donor card instead of my debit card today... my groceries ended up costing me an arm and a leg

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i think the story of Noah's life was a bit boring. But it did have a nice arc

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Who is a grain harvester's favorite musical artist? Hall'n Oates

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What do you call a movie with Sonic the Hedgehog, and Curious George? 2 Fast 2 Curious

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I can't play loud music on any instrument. It's just not my forte.

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Why is Metallica the safest band to listen to in an airport? Because they haven't set off a metal detector since 1989.

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What's Santa's favourite heavy metal band? Sleigher

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Don't you dare hit that drum again! If you do, there will be repercussions!

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What kind of music do wind turbines like? They're huge metal fans

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A music note walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, you're A Minor, we can't serve you."

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A bus carrying a jazz band has broke down on the highway. Witnesses are reporting a massive jam

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Do you know how to make $20B in the Tech business? Start with $44B

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Why are vegetarians never involved in Any drama? They can’t stand beef

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My job is to drill holes in things and then bolt them together. At first it's boring, but later on, it's riveting!

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Calculator app My 12-year-old daughter made this up. She said she got a calculator app for her phone but it didn't give a plus key unless she paid additional fees.

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A sloth walks into a bar in the afternoon. Bartender: we are closing in 5 minutes

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