No matter how bad your personal situation is - alcohol is never the answer. Alcohol is the question, and "yes" is the answer.
— upjoke.com
Every joke I've kept
Surf instead →allone-liners 4222misc 1013animal 458classic 417general 345puns 264children 219at-work 211light-bulbs 191sports 153food 126programming 121money 100knock-knock 91medical 76science 55math 48bar 41music 41tech 40college 26family-parents 18men 18blonde-jokes 15computers 10crazy-jokes 9heaven-and-hell 9business 7deep-thoughts 7military 6one-liner 6women 6holidays 5police-jokes 5bar-jokes 3food-jokes 3idiots 3blind-jokes 2dad 2ethnic-jokes 2farmers 2ocean 2office-jokes 2old-age 2school 2state-jokes 1
Why is Antarctica sad? cuz it's iceolated....
— upjoke.com
Why is Antarctica the least corrupt continent? Because it has justice
— upjoke.com
Why is antarctica the smartest continent? Because only scientist live there
— upjoke.com
What’s the one problem that everyone from Asia, Africa, North America, South America, Antarctica, Europe, and Australia have in common? Living within continents.
— upjoke.com
Hey lady, are you my appendix? Cause I don't know what you do, but I got this feeling inside me that says I need to take you out
— upjoke.com
I went to the library to check out a medical book on abdominal pain. but when I got it home, I found that someone had ripped out the appendix.
— upjoke.com
My dad left his job. He wanted to pursue archeology. His career is now in ruins.
— upjoke.com
I got into an argument with 1,3,5,7 and 9. The odds were against me.
— upjoke.com
How can you tell if an arrow is nervous? See if it quivers.
— upjoke.com
What is Green Arrow's superpower? He can turn left whenever he wants.
— upjoke.com
What does a turtle call his aunt? Tort-tia
— upjoke.com
I had a cousin called Marco. Tragic story. He got lost in a crowded shopping mall. My aunt called and called for him but of course she hadn't a hope of hearing him calling back.
— upjoke.com
Did you hear about the baker who robbed a bank? He just burst in there, buns glazing!
— upjoke.com
Heard of the baker who fell in love with unbaked bread? Asked about their love, he replies “this here is all I knead”
— upjoke.com
A group of friends put together a basketball team to play on the local town league and called the team “bye” So far they have accumulated 4 wins from opponents no-shows.
— upjoke.com
A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are asked to measure the volume of a basketball The mathematician grabs a cord to measure its circumference and from there works out its volume. The physicist pushes the basketball into a bucket of water and measures the water displacement. The engineer looks it up on the catalog.
— upjoke.com
My tennis career has taught me that I can be the best basketball player ever. Nothing but net
— upjoke.com
Why did Batman rush to the Bat Cave? He had to go to the Bat Room. [an old classic]
— upjoke.com
Nobody was scared when the clown invasion started at the beach. ”I mean, it’s just one boat” they said. ”How bad can it be?”.
— upjoke.com