Did you hear about the submarine industry? It really took a dive...
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Every joke I've kept
Surf instead →allmisc 970one-liners 644classic 417general 345animal 309puns 270children 220light-bulbs 191knock-knock 91at-work 63medical 61programming 59sports 49bar 45tech 42college 28blonde-jokes 23men 19family-parents 18computers 15women 15heaven-and-hell 11crazy-jokes 9business 8deep-thoughts 8military 8holidays 7science 7one-liner 6police-jokes 6money 5school 4bar-jokes 3food-jokes 3idiots 3ocean 3blind-jokes 2dad 2ethnic-jokes 2farmers 2math 2music 2office-jokes 2old-age 2state-jokes 1
What’s 50 Cent’s name in Zimbabwe? 200 Dollars.
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You know you're a redneck when your brand new tv is sitting on your old ones.
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Q: What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?A: About .....35 pounds.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear? Boo jeans.
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Buy company, fire them. Beware of machine guns.
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How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
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Why Didn't the Chicken Cross the Road?
Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because he's "chicken".
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How are false teeth like stars? They come out at night!
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Question: What is brown and sticky? Answer: A stick! Duh.
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What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?Beer nuts are over a buck and deer nuts are under a buck!
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"I caught a 250-pound marlin the other day!""That's nothing. I was fishing the other day and hooked a lamp from an old Spanish ship. In fact, the light was still lit!""If you bow out the light, I'll take 200 pounds off the marlin. "
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Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two, one to hold the giraffe, and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.
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Dear Washington State residents: The recent earthquakes were just a warning. Now that we have your attention, sell us your power, give us back our sunshine, take back your rain and we'll take back our earthquakes. [signed] The People of California
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A lovely young lady named Kim Went down to the river to swim A man in a punt Stuck an oar in her eye And now she has to wear glasses.
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Did you hear about the hungry clock? It went back four seconds.
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Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
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What's the best part about TCP jokes? I get to keep telling them until you get them.
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Why do melons get married in church? - Because they cantaloupe.
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Why do Chickens have no breast? Cause the Rooster has no hands!
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