does anyone know any good sword-fighting puns? I'm trying to think of words that have a duel meaning.
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Every joke I've kept
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How do you beat Dr. Doofenshmirtz in a sword fight? You parry the platypus
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A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted, “Wait! I’m a talking tree!" The lumberjack grinned, “And you will dialogue!"
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I was part of a scientific study on the calming effects of listening to the Three Tenors. I felt great, but was in the control group. It turns out I was listening to Placebo Domingo.
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You’re riding a giraffe and a tiger is chasing you.. What do you do? You get off the merry-go-round
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What did the triangle say to the circle? You're pointless! (by the way, my 8 year old heard at school)
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We thought it was our ability to love that made us human, but it turns out it was actually our ability to SELECT EACH IMAGE CONTAINING A TRUCK.
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What type of underpants do lawyers wear? Legal briefs.
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I asked my dad, “Why do you keep buying vinyl?”. Dad: Records are....always a sound purchase.
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Did you guys hear about the globe that got pressed flat into vinyl album? Yeah, it was a world record.
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Why did the vulture check his baggage at the airport? He wasn't allowed any carrion
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“Waiter, waiter, why is my apple pie all mashed up?!”. “Sir, you did ask me to step on it.”
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Why did the Walrus cross the road? Just for the halibut.
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Why did the walrus feel bad about himself? Because he was untuskworthy.
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where does steel wool come from? Robot sheep
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Why isn’t blood a good writer?? Because of all the Type-Os. Not sure if this has been posted before but I thought of it while at my desk and was proud of it cause it made me chuckle lol.
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What happens when you put a zebra in a lion cage? You get fired from the zoo
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My bank has a new feature where they'll text you your bank balance. I think it's pretty cool. I just don't think they should end the text with "LOL", though.
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When do S and C sound the same? When it's necessary.
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What kind of dessert comes out of a musical volcano? Bach Lava
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