I read a science fiction book where people drill for mercury as a power source. It was by Hg Wells.
— upjoke.com
Every joke I've kept
Surf instead →allone-liners 4222misc 1013animal 458classic 417general 345puns 264children 219at-work 211light-bulbs 191sports 153food 126programming 121money 100knock-knock 91medical 76science 55math 48bar 41music 41tech 40college 26family-parents 18men 18blonde-jokes 15computers 10crazy-jokes 9heaven-and-hell 9business 7deep-thoughts 7military 6one-liner 6women 6holidays 5police-jokes 5bar-jokes 3food-jokes 3idiots 3blind-jokes 2dad 2ethnic-jokes 2farmers 2ocean 2office-jokes 2old-age 2school 2state-jokes 1
I miss my old zoology teacher: Mrs. Turtle. Unusual name for a teacher, but she tortoise well.
— upjoke.com
What do you call a wolf who reads philosophy? AWAREWOLF
— upjoke.com
A research says that 75% of the people are good at Math. I am probably the remaining 35%
— upjoke.com
Most puns make me feel numb. But mathematics puns make me feel. .....number
— upjoke.com
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked the professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”. He said, “Sorry. There’s no time.”
— upjoke.com
What did the math book say to the literature book? I envy you, you’re so full of stories and I’ll I’ve got is problems
— upjoke.com
Literature professor: "Why can't Severus Snape be a herbology teacher?" Student A: "Because he can't keep the Lillies alive." Student B: "Maybe he didn't put them in the right Potter?"
— upjoke.com
A physics joke. How many general-relativity theocratists does it take to change a light bulb? - Two. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate space.
— upjoke.com
Albert Einstein created many concepts for modern physics. His brother, Frank, however, created a monster.
— upjoke.com
I heard a banana a day helps clean out the colon. I then found out you’re supposed to eat the banana.
— upjoke.com
What is the best card in Valve's Artifact? The Credit Card.
— upjoke.com
What kind of music do they play at Stonehenge? Hard Rock.
— upjoke.com
What is the king of all tools? The Ruler.
— upjoke.com
The US has placed 18th for math... It sounds bad, I’m just glad we hit top ten.
— upjoke.com
In a place without geometry life is pointless.
— upjoke.com
The other day I had was in a heated debate about circles. It was a pointless argument.
— upjoke.com
I had cardiac surgery in Cuba but the doctors weren’t that great. Half of my heart is in Havana
— upjoke.com
Why did I quit my job in Mexico? It didn't peso well.
— upjoke.com
You could say a lot of bad things about Switzerland. But their flag is a big plus.
— upjoke.com