What's the most Canadian Battery? Triple Eh!
— upjoke.com
Every joke I've kept
Surf instead →allone-liners 4222misc 1013animal 458classic 417general 345puns 264children 219at-work 211light-bulbs 191sports 153food 126programming 121money 100knock-knock 91medical 76science 55math 48bar 41music 41tech 40college 26family-parents 18men 18blonde-jokes 15computers 10crazy-jokes 9heaven-and-hell 9business 7deep-thoughts 7military 6one-liner 6women 6holidays 5police-jokes 5bar-jokes 3food-jokes 3idiots 3blind-jokes 2dad 2ethnic-jokes 2farmers 2ocean 2office-jokes 2old-age 2school 2state-jokes 1
Scientist keep finding broom sticks all over beaches. Due to sand-witches
— upjoke.com
There is only one thing that beats a beautiful girl with amazing voice. And that’s Chris Brown
— upjoke.com
Beggar. I saw a beggar sleeping in a tyre. I punctured it . Now he is staying in a flat.
— upjoke.com
“A Beginner’s Guide to Boxing”. - By Bob Andweave
— upjoke.com
What do you call a Belgian businessman? An Antwerp-eneur!
— upjoke.com
My friend claims that he “accidentally” glued himself to his autobiography, but I don’t believe him. But that’s his story, and he’s sticking to it.
— upjoke.com
People are 63% more likely to believe a made up stat if you say it confidently. This increases to 78.47 if you add a decimal
— upjoke.com
I can't believe that viruses and bacteria would just invade my body without a permission. That makes me sick
— upjoke.com
Watching the latest episode of Forged in Fire. In the sharpness test, Doug Marcaida tested how much bread each blade would cut with just one slice... The winner was so lucky he brought his 4-loaf cleaver.
— upjoke.com
Why was the child’s blanket arrested? For being an accessory to a kid napping.
— upjoke.com
I saw an Elsa blanket. I didn’t get it though, the cold never really bothered me anyways.
— upjoke.com
What do you call a boat driving in circles for a student's education? An In-Turn Ship!
— upjoke.com
An old one. What lies on the bottom of the sea and shakes? A nervous wreck! I first heard this at xmas 1952 (64 years ago) and it still makes me smile.
— upjoke.com
What has a bottom at its top? A leg
— upjoke.com
What do you call a cable that connects you directly to the heavens? An aethernet cable
— upjoke.com
My friend, Ming, told me that I would look more professional if I stop wearing my funny bow tie. I responded, "But I am nothing without my comedic tie, Ming."
— upjoke.com
Why do all the Norwegian military vessels have barcodes on the bow? So upon their return, they can Scandinavian
— upjoke.com
What’s worse than a box full of snakes? A box that was SUPPOSED to be full of snakes.
— upjoke.com
A man walks into a bakery, points to some bread and asks... Man: 'Is this Gluten free?' Cashier: No. It costs $4.50
— upjoke.com