Every joke I've kept

Why did the programmer go to art school? He wanted to learn how to code outside the box.

— public joke corpus

What does the dentist of the year get?...A little plaque.

— public joke corpus

Knock Knock! Who's there? Amos. Amos who? Amosquito bit me!

— public joke corpus

Knock Knock? Who's there? Megan Megan who? Makin a list chekin it twice gonna find out who's naughty or nice.

— public joke corpus

What do you call an old snowman? Water.

— public joke corpus

I went into the kitchen, and there was a tap on the window. Not using that plumber again!

— public joke corpus

A little kid asks his father, "Daddy, is God a man or a woman?" "Both son. God is both." After a while the kid comes again and asks, "Daddy, is God black or white?" "Both son, both." The child returns a few minutes later and says, "Daddy, is Michael Jackson God?"

— public joke corpus

Q: How many Clowns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Paid Clowns - 5 Boys in school - 1000

— public joke corpus

An Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman and a fat man are all going skydiving. When they get to jump the Englishman shouts, "God save England!" The Scotsman shouts, "God save Scotland!" The Irishman shouts, "God save Ireland!" Then the fat man jumps and shouts, "God save whoever I land on!"

— public joke corpus

Teacher: Can you pay a little attention to this lesson?! Pupil: I am trying my best to pay as little attention as I can!!

— public joke corpus

What do Michael Jackson and plastic bags have in common? They are both made out of plastic and are dangerous for children to play with.

— public joke corpus

Q: How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb ? A: Two. One to change it, and another one to change it back again. A: Four, one to change it and the other three to deny it.

— public joke corpus

Q:how can you tell if a blonde is having a bad day? A:her tampon is on her ear and she cant find her pen!

— public joke corpus

What's the difference between a sock and a camera? One takes five toes and one takes photos.

— public joke corpus

How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus? Ten-tickles!

— public joke corpus

A book never written: L.O.L. (lots o' logs) by P. Lumyum

— public joke corpus

An elementary school teacher asked her students to write a truthful report on what they would do if they had a million dollars. There was only one student who recieved an A, and the rest failed for lying. This was the paper with the A: Johnny ...

— public joke corpus

Knock, knock! Who's there, in th' other devil's name? Faith, here's an equivocator that could swear in both the scales against either scale, who committed treason enough for God's sake, yet could not equivocate to heaven. O, come in, equivocator.

— public joke corpus

CAT 1- So how'd that milk drinking contest go? CAT 2- Oh, I won by six laps.

— public joke corpus

Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans

— public joke corpus