A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, Iknow all of them." A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."
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Every joke I've kept
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How does Clinton divert his attention from the latest controversy? He just keeps on plugging away.
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How do you get a NUN pregnant?Dress her up as a little boy!
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Hawt het hlle ma i redanig?
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"Honor System Virus" This virus works on the honor system. Please delete all the files on your hard disk, then forward this message to everyone you know. Thank you for your cooperation.
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Q: What does Tiger woods have better than Princess Diana?A: A driver
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What Time Do You Call This?
A 10pm curfew was imposed in Belfast, and everybody had to be off the streets or risk being shot. However, one citizen was shot at 9.45pm. "Why did you do that?" the soldier was asked by his superior officer. "I know where he lives," came the reply, "and he wouldn't have made it."
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Why did Julie lose the race? Because Jodie won!
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With over %d jokes submitted and ranked by users like you, Wocka has the largest collection anywhere on the internet. All of these jokes have been submitted by user like you. Join our community and chat with your fellow commedians and jokers.
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So ya know, I've been taking these kung-fu classes lately. I must say,they are great. Teach you how to be as powerful as a tiger, as quick as a monkey, as smart as a dragon. Why just the other day, these guys came up to me with a knife and demanded money. So, I turned into a chicken and ran!
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What do you call a careful wolf? Aware wolf.
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"Dad, can I have the car keys?" "Ok, but don't lose them. We will get the car in just seven years!"
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What's the difference between a guitar and a fish? You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna"fish!
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Why did Humpty dumpty go to the shrink? Cause he was half cracked.
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Teacher: "Johnny, what is the outside of a tree called?" Johnny: "I don't know." Teacher: "Bark, Johnny, bark." Johnny: "Bow, wow, wow!"
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Q: What's green, has 3 eyes, sharp teeth, and blood on its face? A: I don't know, but it's on your shoulder!
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Thor: The Scandinavian god of acheth and painth.
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Q: Which sea animal is very grumpy? A: The crab!
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Q: How many US Presidents does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, the constitution says that only Congress can screw in light bulbs, so only Congress is responsible for the dark, which is why we need a Constitutional amendment. A: Only one. If he can handle 250,000,000 people a day I think he can handle screwing one extra light bulb.
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Mother to teenage daughter: "The bad news is, we're moving to a different city. The good news is, your new school is full of boys who didn't see you get sick in the cafeteria last month."
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