Every joke I've kept

What do you call a Communist sniper? A Marxman.

— r/Jokes

I hate how funerals are always at 9 or 10am... I'm not really a mourning person.

— r/Jokes

I have a phobia of over engineered buildings. It's a complex complex complex.

— r/Jokes

Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, "I still love Vista, baby".

— r/Jokes

I've just been fired from the clock making factory. after all those extra hours I put in.

— r/Jokes

Communist jokes are not funny... unless everyone gets them

— r/Jokes

Why did the Stormtrooper buy an iPhone? Because he couldn't find the Droid he was looking for.

— r/Jokes

Food is like dark humor. not every one gets it.

— r/Jokes

I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift. But I couldn't find a manual.

— r/Jokes

9 out of 10 Americans are stupid... I'm so glad I'm in the 1%.

— r/Jokes

Who wears a red suit and knows if you were naughty or nice? The Spanish Inquisition.

— r/Jokes

What's the difference between america and a bottle of milk? In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture

— r/Jokes

I've decided to marry a pencil. I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B

— r/Jokes

I bought my friend an elephant for their room. They said thank you. I said don't mention it.

— r/Jokes

I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. I lost my case.

— r/Jokes

Here's a FedEx joke. Actually, you'll get it tomorrow

— r/Jokes

Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? Because in charge of sequence, Yoda was.

— r/Jokes

I saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching. To reverse and leaving the scene

— r/Jokes

Russian history in 5 words: "And then things got worse."

— r/Jokes

Why did Leonardo DiCaprio laugh at the Oscar joke? Because he finally got it

— r/Jokes