Every joke I've kept

The amount of sleep required by the average person is about five minutes more.

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My uncle is very superstitious. He won't work any week that has a Friday in it.

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Q: How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.

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Two wrongs do not make a right, but three rights make a left.

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Overheard at an exhibit in the science museum: "It says here that oxygen was discovered over two hundred years ago." "Wow! What did people breathe before that?"

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"I'd like the number for Christine Smith in Richmond, Virginia," the young man said to the 411 operator. "There are multiple listings for Christine Smith in Richmond, Virginia," the operator said. "Do you have a street name?" The young man hesitated a moment, "Well, uh, most people call me Snake."

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News just in - the drummer tripped over the cymbals, and hit his head. The hospital spokesperson said, "He'll be all right in a couple of days; he's just suffering from percussion."

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"Hey Sean, I've got a job lined up for you, can you turn up tomorrow, about tenish?" "Tennish? I don't even have a racket"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? Bless you!

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Mary had a little lamb! The doctor fainted!

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Newton's Little-Known Seventh Law - A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.

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Did you ever notice...?

Did you ever notice that a lot of people will do just about anything to get attention? Like putting jokes up on a website! P.S I love Wocka.

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What is represented by this? WOWOLFOL Wolf in sheep's clothing (wool)!

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I often dream of the day when my car will be able to drive me home after a long hard day of work. That's about the time the driver next to me abruptly blows his horn telling me to wake up and get back into my own lane.

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Only in America can a President have relations in the oral office

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To add a joke to this list: Click the "Add to My Favorites" link when you are viewing a joke. To get rid of one of your favorite jokes: Go to your favorite jokes page. Next to each joke there is a garbage can icon. Click on the icon to get rid of that joke from your favorite's page.

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What did the fish say when he swam into a concrete wall? Dam!

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I'm trying computer dating, at least I'm not getting dumped... but I do get deleted.

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If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

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Make sure you are in a public place with a lot of people around. Sniff the air a couple of times (make sure it is loud sniffs). Turn to you wife and say in a loud voice "Hey honey did you fart?!".

— public joke corpus