Every joke I've kept

Q: Where do cows go on Saturday nights? A: To the moovies

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Hey! I recognize you! You're the third one over on the evolutionary scale!

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A bag of Cheetos has a contest. It says "No Purchase neccesary" but the code is on the inside...

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Why did the frog cross the road? A: He was tied onto the chicken.

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A Chinese couple got married and were now known as Mr. Wong and Mrs. Wong. However, they didn't know why, but they couldn't have white children. So they went to the doctor to find out what the problem was, and they told him the story and the doctor replied, "Didn't you know?" "Two Wongs don't make a white!"

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Why don't programmers like nature? There's too many bugs.

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Where does Fonzie like to go for lunch? Chick-Fil-Eyyyyyyyy.

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How do you generate a random string? Put a Windows user in front of Vim and tell them to exit.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and walks up to the bar. The bartender says "hey, we have a drink named after you!" "Really?" asks the grasshopper, "You have a drink named Steve?"

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Try to refrain from referring to this website or the users of this website in the jokes you post on Wocka. This is mainly because most of the people who read the jokes might not understand the reference to a particular person and they will rate the joke poorly because they do not understand it.

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Sean: I've finally cleared my mind! Dean: Does your new one work?

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There's a true story about a convicted con man who was recently found to be impersonating a lawyer in New York City. To which the judge remarked, "I should have suspected he wasn't a lawyer. He was always so punctual and polite."

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Joke: Why does Snoop Dogg Carry an umbrella? Answer: For Drizzle my nizzle

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How do you keep a Michigan State Player out of your yard? Set up a goal post.

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A Scottish highlander is asked what his three wishes would be. He first wishes for a lake full of whisky. His second wish is for a similar quantity of good food. When asked for his third wish, after a moment of indecision, he asks for a second lake full of whisky.[2]

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Q: What do you get when you cross a kangaroo and a sheep? A: A sweater with pockets

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I was walking down the road and saw a sign which read, "SIDEWALK AHEAD CLOSED. PLEASE USE OTHER SIDE OF ROAD". Oooh, it made me cross!

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Teacher: If you found five pence in one pocket and ten pence in the other,what would you have? Willy: Somebody else's trousers.

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Can You Decipher This Phrase? DEINPTH VESTINIGATION In depth investigation!

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Billymac: "Those there are award winnin' cows." BubbaJr.: "What'd they do?" Billymac: "They're outstandin' in their field"

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