Mom, am I ugly? "I told you not to call me mom in front of people"
— r/Jokes
Every joke I've kept
Surf instead →allone-liners 4222misc 1013animal 458classic 417general 345puns 264children 219at-work 211light-bulbs 191sports 153food 126programming 121money 100knock-knock 91medical 76science 55math 48bar 41music 41tech 40college 26family-parents 18men 18blonde-jokes 15computers 10crazy-jokes 9heaven-and-hell 9business 7deep-thoughts 7military 6one-liner 6women 6holidays 5police-jokes 5bar-jokes 3food-jokes 3idiots 3blind-jokes 2dad 2ethnic-jokes 2farmers 2ocean 2office-jokes 2old-age 2school 2state-jokes 1
They say you can’t get a decent job without education. But look at Albert Einstein – he was a drop-out and still ended up being the first man on the moon!
— r/Jokes
Just found out I was dating a commie. Guess I should've noticed the red flags earlier
— r/Jokes
What's is the difference between ignorance and negligence? I don't know and I don't care.
— r/Jokes
Dating is a lot like fishing. Sure, there's plenty of fish in the sea. But until i catch one, I'm just stuck here holding my rod.
— r/Jokes
People use to laugh at me when I would say "I want to be a comedian" Well nobody is laughing now.
— r/Jokes
Why hasn't Africa ever won Olympic gold in basketball? Because Africa isn't a country.
— r/Jokes
Tried changing my password to "14days" but it was two week
— r/Jokes
What religion do ghosts practice? Boo-ddhism
— r/Jokes
I can cut a piece of wood in half just by looking at it. It's true, I saw it with my own eyes.
— r/Jokes
Why do people in Beijing smoke so many cigarettes? To get a breath of filtered air.
— r/Jokes
If a tree falls in the forest and nobody hears it then my illegal logging business is a success
— r/Jokes
At 23:59 31.12.2015 I raised my left foot off the ground. Just to be sure I start 2016 on the right foot
— r/Jokes
How many Broncos does it take to change a tire? One. Unless it's a blowout then the whole team shows up.
— r/Jokes
My ex-gf invited me to her wedding. Told her I was busy, will be there next time
— r/Jokes
I started an emo salsa band. We're called Hispanic at the Disco
— r/Jokes
I've already got a car, but I want to have a DeLorean as well. I would drive my first car every day, but only drive the DeLorean from time to time.
— r/Jokes
My new thesaurus is terrible. It's also terrible.
— r/Jokes
Why couldn't the candle get any sleep? Because there's no rest for the wicked.
— r/Jokes
"Mommy, why does everyone at school pick on me?" "I've no idea, Someoneyourownsize."
— r/Jokes