Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Three. One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare.
— public joke corpus
Every joke I've kept
Surf instead →allmisc 970one-liners 644classic 417general 345animal 309puns 270children 220light-bulbs 191knock-knock 91at-work 63medical 61programming 59sports 49bar 45tech 42college 28blonde-jokes 23men 19family-parents 18computers 15women 15heaven-and-hell 11crazy-jokes 9business 8deep-thoughts 8military 8holidays 7science 7one-liner 6police-jokes 6money 5school 4bar-jokes 3food-jokes 3idiots 3ocean 3blind-jokes 2dad 2ethnic-jokes 2farmers 2math 2music 2office-jokes 2old-age 2state-jokes 1
What's a bigamist? A heavy fog in Naples!
— public joke corpus
'How long will the next bus be?' 'About eighteen feet.'
— public joke corpus
8 P, 8 N and 8 E in an O A
8 protons, 8 neutrons and 8 electrons in an oxygen atom!
— public joke corpus
Customer: I see you have gravy on your menu today. Waiter: Yes, sir. What would you like to have? Customer: A clean menu!
— public joke corpus
"What I saw, it was burned into my mind forever." "Well, that explains the red markings on your scalp."
— public joke corpus
Q: What type of storage units do underwater computers use? A: Trilo-bytes
— public joke corpus
What did the Dorito farmer say to the other Dorito farmer? Cool Ranch!
— public joke corpus
Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and the police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
— public joke corpus
What did the Zen Buddist say to the hotdog vendor? Make me one with everything.
— public joke corpus
One eye says to the other eye, "Between you and me, something smells."
— public joke corpus
Knock-Knock Who's there? Who's There. Who's there Who? I'm supposed to say Who's there!
— public joke corpus
What did the ocean say to the beach? Thanks for all the sediment.
— public joke corpus
Knock knock. Who's there? A broken pencil. A broken pencil who? Never mind. It's pointless.
— public joke corpus
The accountant's prayer: "Lord, help me be more relaxed about insignificant details, starting tomorrow at 10.53:16 am, Eastern Daylight Saving Time."
— public joke corpus
There's a fella in a fast-food outlet, and he's just received his order of 7 hot-dogs, 9 Big Macs and 6 large Cokes. The counterhand says, "Would you like a tray?" The customer replies, "Steady on, haven't I got enough to carry already?"
— public joke corpus
Q. What do you call a cow murder mystery? A. moo-done-it.
— public joke corpus
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I ever saw
— public joke corpus
I knocked several times, but you weren't in. - Opportunity
— public joke corpus
"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, sir," the clerk replied."That's good," the boss said. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you."
— public joke corpus