Every joke I've kept

What do cubs fans do after they win the world series? They turn off their Xbox.

— r/Jokes

England fans must be pretty happy right now. They've been waiting years for their team to play like Spain.

— r/Jokes

I am friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know y

— r/Jokes

What does a guy with 2 right feet wear to the beach? Flop-Flops

— r/Jokes

I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was sat next to a screaming baby. Apparently that's not allowed if the baby is yours.

— r/Jokes

I can see six years into the future. I must have 2020 vision.

— r/Jokes

What does a vegetable get in bowling? A-spare-I-guess

— r/Jokes

A piece of fruit held up a bank and stole some money. It was a strobbery.

— r/Jokes

It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs... Because they always take things literally.

— r/Jokes

I had a goal to lose 20 Pounds by the end of the year. 30 pounds to go

— r/Jokes

All this 'Frozen' merchandise is just getting ridiculous. I was at the supermarket earlier and they've now got a whole bloody aisle just for Frozen stuff.

— r/Jokes

5 years from now it'll be 2020... I can see it now... That's a perfect vision joke.

— r/Jokes

RIP to my good friend Brian eaten by a pack of dyslexic zombies :(

— r/Jokes

Why can't a Samsung be disguised as an iPhone? Because eventually, its cover would be blown.

— r/Jokes

How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic? You take the pizza delivery sign off

— r/Jokes

Why can't a chicken coop have more than two doors? Because if it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.

— r/Jokes

What is the one type of person that will never get angry? A nomad.

— r/Jokes

Why did the cross eyed teacher quit her job? Because she couldn't control her pupils.

— r/Jokes

Why are the developers of NoMansSky called Hellogames? Because you never get a goodbuy from them

— r/Jokes

What state has the smallest soft drinks? Minisoda

— r/Jokes