Every joke I've kept

I got a dog from the blacksmiths the other day... As soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door.

— r/Jokes

How many ants does it take to rent a house? Ten ants

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If you ever get in a knife fight with a group of clowns. Go for the juggler

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Who is both a knight and a spy? Sir Veillance

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If you have a bee in your hand what do you have in your eye? Beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

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If 666 is the evil number. Then 25.806975... is the root of all evil.

— r/Jokes

Why is Oklahoma so windy? Because Kansas sucks, and Texas blows

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Why did the console gamer get a headache at the art museum? Too many frames.

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What's a horrible icebreaker? The titanic

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Switzerland is a great country, with amazing views and nice people. And their flag is also great, which is a huge plus.

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Where does Walmart keep the Terminator toys? Aisle B, back.

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What's a Jedi's favorite brand of vodka? Skyy. Only Sith deal in Absolut.

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Where do poor meatballs live? The Spaghetto.

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I have decided to write all my jokes in capitals from now on. This one was written in London.

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I had coffee with Red Bull this morning... After about 10 minutes on the highway, I realized I left my car at home.

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A man holding a large block of asphalt walks into a bar. He says to the bartender, "A beer for me, and one for the road."

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How was the Roman Empire cut in half? With a pair of caesars.

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What was Forrest Gump's email password? 1forrest1

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I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant. but then I changed my mind

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Two silk worms are in a wrestling match. It ended in a tie.

— r/Jokes