One day my wife was changing my daughter's diaper, and my 3 year old son walked in and saw her and asked, "Mommy, where is her thingy?" I almost had a heart attack, laughing so hard that day.
— public joke corpus
Every joke I've kept
Surf instead →allmisc 970one-liners 644classic 417general 345animal 309puns 270children 220light-bulbs 191knock-knock 91at-work 63medical 61programming 59sports 49bar 45tech 42college 28blonde-jokes 23men 19family-parents 18computers 15women 15heaven-and-hell 11crazy-jokes 9business 8deep-thoughts 8military 8holidays 7science 7one-liner 6police-jokes 6money 5school 4bar-jokes 3food-jokes 3idiots 3ocean 3blind-jokes 2dad 2ethnic-jokes 2farmers 2math 2music 2office-jokes 2old-age 2state-jokes 1
What kind of cheese is not yours? Nacho cheese
— public joke corpus
What kind of key can't open a door.
— public joke corpus
A little girl was sat in science, when she wet herself. She goes to her teacher and says "I've wet myself". The teacher asks "Why didn't you put your hand up?" She replies "I did, but it just ran down my hand!"
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Q: What's a cannibal? A: Ç×doÇd É¥ÊÄ±Ê dn pÇÉ s,oÉ¥Ê uosÉ1Çd É
— public joke corpus
Two sausages were in a pan.One sausage turns to the other and says, "Man, Its getting hot in here."The other sausage screams and says, "AH! A talking sausage!!"
— public joke corpus
Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?
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How many roaches does it take to screw in a lightbulb? You'll never know because when you turn on the light, they scatter!
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Q. What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild? A. Money.
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What is the least spoken language in the world? Sign Language
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Old photographers never die, they just go out of focus!
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A Wocka user has average joke comedy 2.5, but he doesn't get the smiley. Why can it happen? Because his average joke comedy is between 2.495 and 2.5, which is rounded up to 2.5.
— public joke corpus
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars, and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint, and he has to touch it.
— public joke corpus
Jenny: How did the turtle cross the freeway? Forrest: I don't know. Jenny: Take the 'r' out of 'free'. Now, take the 'f' out of 'way'. Forrest: There's no 'f' in way!
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How do you organize a space party? You planet.
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Two guys walked into a bar... you would have thought the second one would have ducked.
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When a man wants to believe something, it doesn't take much to convince him.
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Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?A: Cut the rope.
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Question: Who am I if I have 73 eyes, 4 noses, 8 heads, 139 arms, 78 legs and 100, 000, 000 lips? Answer: A liar.
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If only DEAD people understand hexadecimal, how many people understand hexadecimal? 57005.
— public joke corpus