Every joke I've kept

How many american rugby fans does it take to change a lightbulb? Both of them

— r/Jokes

If I had a nickel for every time I thought of you. I'd start thinking about you.

— r/Jokes

What do you call an imaginary color? A pigment of your imagination.

— r/Jokes

I should clean mirrors for a living. It's a profession I see myself in.

— r/Jokes

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, "Well, this changes everything"

— r/Jokes

What's cooler than being cool? Being 0K.

— r/Jokes

Why do they have bar codes on the returning Swedish fleet? So they can Scandinavian.

— r/Jokes

I went to the National Air and Space Museum in DC... There was a lot more stuff in there than I'd expected

— r/Jokes

I don't know why people are afraid of flying. Most crashes happen at ground level

— r/Jokes

What has 5 fingers but isn't your hand? My hand.

— r/Jokes

If I had a dime for everytime I thought about you... I would definitely think about you

— r/Jokes

What do you call sunscreen in Ireland? Pubs

— r/Jokes

My friend says he has the body of a Greek god... I had to explain to him that Buddha wasn't Greek.

— r/Jokes

A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money, so I woke up and searched with him.

— r/Jokes

My life is just like Rihanna's new song. Work work work work work and the rest I can't really understand!

— r/Jokes

I just ended a 5 year relationship today. It's okay. It wasn't my relationship.

— r/Jokes

Two FBI agents search an office and find a hard drive with "KGB" on it... One of the agents asks the other, "Why didn't they just write '1 TB' instead?"

— r/Jokes

Why doesn't Pacman use Twitter? He doesn't like being followed.

— r/Jokes

It's crazy how sexist the postal service is. I guess that's natural with such a mail dominated industry.

— r/Jokes

i really like the name saturn. it has a nice ring to it

— r/Jokes