Every joke I've kept

What is striped and lays eggs? A chicken in jail!

— public joke corpus

Santa:Oye, you know once, when I was very young, I jumped from the 20th floor of a building. Banta: Then what happened? Did you survived or die? Santa replied: "Oye, I forgot, that was years ago".

— public joke corpus

Hey, that shirt really looks becoming on you, then again, if I were that shirt, I'd be coming too!

— public joke corpus

What Happens When a Lion Roars?

What happens when a lion roars? Tom n Jerry starts!

— public joke corpus

An Indian man made a painting with the sun above a beach. He proudly displayed his painting. When people marvel at his work and asked, "What's it called?" He said, "Sun of a Beach."

— public joke corpus

What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

— public joke corpus

A precocious 4-year-old was brought to the ER with a severe cough, a nurse writes. She kept up a non-stop conversation while I was trying to assess her lung sounds. Finally, I said, "Shhh, I have to see if Barney is in there." The child looked at me and said, "I have Jesus in my heart. Barney is on my underwear."

— public joke corpus

Why Did the Chewing Gum Cross the Road?

Why did the chewing gum cross the road? Because it was stuck to the chicken's feet.

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I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.

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This is Meant to be Funny in a Stupid Way Again

Where does Batman's goldfish live ? In the BAT-TUB!! ahahaha...

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Two blondes walk in to a building.You'd think one of them would have seen the building.

— public joke corpus

A termite walks into a bar and says... 'Where is the bar tended?'

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I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. "No," he said, "the steaks are too high."

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A Martian lands to plunder, pillage and burn. He goes up to the owner of the first house he sees and says, "I'm a Martian just arrived from the other side of the galaxy. We're here to destroy your civilisation, pillage and burn. What do you think about that?" The owner replies, "I don't have an opinion. I'm a chartered accountant."

— public joke corpus

There were three men at a bar. One of them ducked and the other two fell down because they hit the bar.

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Where Did They Sign the Declaration?

Where did they sign the Declaration of Independence? At the bottom.

— public joke corpus

I found this attached to a halloween scythe: BE SURE HEAD IS ATTACHED BEFORE USE.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Ya Ya - who? I didn't know you could yodel! Yahoooo!

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"Boss, I've got to have a raise," the salesman said to his sales manager. "There are three other companies after me.""Is that a fact?" the manager asked. "What other companies are after you?""The electric company, the phone company, and the gas company."

— public joke corpus

What is the hardest part about sky diving? The ground.

— public joke corpus