Every joke I've kept

Never trust an atom. They make up everything.

Geometry

Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet.

I told my bike it was two-tired. It couldn't stand up for itself.

Off by one

There are two hard problems in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.

My computer went on a diet. Now it's down to a terabyte.

A SQL query walks into a bar

It approaches two tables and asks: "Mind if I join you?"

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had no body to go with.

Surf's up

I tried surfing the internet. The waves were terrible but the connection was great.

Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.

A photon checks into a hotel. The porter asks if he has any luggage. "No thanks, I'm travelling light."

I asked a boolean if it wanted lunch. It said maybe. Now I have bigger problems.

Page turner

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

I was going to tell a joke about the tide. But it went out.

What did the ocean say to the shore?

Nothing. It just waved.

Recursion

To understand recursion, you must first understand recursion.