Every joke I've kept

How to avoid clickbait? clearly, you wouldn't know...

— r/Jokes

What's the difference between rock and jazz? Rock is playing three chords for a thousand people. Jazz is playing a thousand chords for three people.

— r/Jokes

My doctor said I need to cut back my sodium intake but I tend to take everything he says with a grain of salt.

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My Grandfather invented the cold air balloon. It never really took off.

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What has 9 letters and makes everyone mad? Clickbait

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How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm? Look for the fresh prints.

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I just finished a jigsaw puzzle. It only took me six months, which is amazing considering the box says 2-4 years.

— r/Jokes

I just found the worst page in the entire dictionary What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.

— r/Jokes

I just went to the Air & Space museum. Boy do I feel ripped off. It was just an empty room.

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I didn't want to believe my father was stealing from the transportation department. But when I got home, all the signs were there.

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A Canadian walks into a cafe, and the barista asks, "Would you like a latte?" And the Canadian responds to him "Nah, just a bit, eh."

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I told my chiropractor that my spine was already in alignment, but he proved me wrong. Now I stand corrected.

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My only talent is sleeping. I could do it with my eyes closed.

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Why does the police officer get up early in the morning? To beat the crowds.

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There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who thought they knew what the punchline would be, and those who are now searching for the original joke.

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I threw a boomerang 6 years ago and it never came back... Now I live in constant fear.

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I lost 189 lbs in one week. By getting a divorce.

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To all those that received a book from me for a Christmas present. They're due back at the library today.

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What do you call a Cult that is hard to get into? Difficult

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Relationships are like Algebra... You look at your X and wonder Y.

— r/Jokes