Every joke I've kept

Vegans who drink water disgust me. That's a Fish's house you filthy Savage.

— r/Jokes

Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ? He heard the ref was blowing fouls

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What's made of leather and sounds like a sneeze? A shoe.

— r/Jokes

The price of balloons is said to rise. It's only logical with all the inflation.

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I ended up in jail the other night and the guys across from me had glued themselves together... It was very confusing.

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Sometimes I just tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That's just how I roll

— r/Jokes

Don't you just love whiteboards? They're remarkable.

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How many ants are needed to fill an apartment? Ten-ants

— r/Jokes

What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing? and delivery

— r/Jokes

Why did Goku cross the road? Find out next time on Dragonball Z!

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A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.

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What happened after the wheel was invented? a revolution

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My neighbor is loud and obnoxious. Now I know how Canada feels

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Apple farmers who are too scared to diversify. should just grow a pear.

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Why don't Jedi Knights use the Kelvin scale? Only a Sith deals in absolutes.

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I asked God for a car, but I know God doesn't work that way... So, I stole a car and asked for forgiveness.

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I used to have a job crushing cans in a soft drink factory all day. It was soda pressing.

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What do you call two nuns playing a bongo? A conundrum.

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Miley Cyrus is a strictly american phenomenon... most everywhere else in the world, she'd be Kilometery Cyrus

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I just grilled a chicken for 8 hours. And it still didn't tell me why it crossed the road.

— r/Jokes