Every joke I've kept

Why did the Egyptians build the pyramids? To get to the other side.

— r/Jokes

Liquor probably won't fix your problems... but it's worth a shot.

— r/Jokes

A professional limboer walks into a bar. He was disqualified from the competition.

— r/Jokes

I'm not addicted to drinking brake fluid.... I can stop any time I want.

— r/Jokes

A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bartender here?"

— public joke corpus

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

— public joke corpus

How can you tell an elephant from an ant? An ant is easier to pick up!

— public joke corpus

Q: What do you call a cat with a machine gun?A: Sir.Q: What does a snail do on a tortoise's back?A: "Vrooom... vrooom... vrooooooom..."Q: How do you know if there is an elephant under the bed?A: Your nose is touching the ceiling.

— public joke corpus

Why was the JavaScript developer sad? He didn't know how to null his feelings.

— public joke corpus

If You Don't Know How to Read, Find Another Joke.

What happens to you if you can not read? Well, since you'll probably be staying in Kindergarten, less homework!

— public joke corpus

Can you decipher this phrase? SMOKE G Go up in smoke!

— public joke corpus

How are the Points Calculated?

For a complete breakdown of how points are calculated, please read the Site Rules. You can get to the site rules by going to the FAQ's and the first answer gives you a link to the Site Rules.

— public joke corpus

Sign outside a Chinese restaurant: Try our curries, you'll never get better.

— public joke corpus

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

— public joke corpus

Can You Decipher This Phrase? QQQQQQ No excuse. There is no X listed, but there are some Qs.

— public joke corpus

How many FBI agents does it take to change a lightbulb? Shut up! We'll be asking the questions here.

— public joke corpus

Kids in the back seat cause accidents. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

— public joke corpus

Q: How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb? A: Many hands make light work.

— public joke corpus

Knock Knock! Who's there? Who who. Who who who? Is there an owl in here?

— public joke corpus

Knock-Knock Who's there? Oscar Oscar who? Ask her a silly question, get a silly answer!

— public joke corpus