Mik walked home from work and saw 4 people dressed in grim reaper suits. He ran home. The next time,the next time and 6 more walks for home, he decided to confront them. He yelled "who ARE you"????!!! They chased him into a wall. "s-s- Show yourself" he squeaked. They took their masks off and yelled "Hi, we're the wiggles!"
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What did the whale say to the dolphin when he pushed him? I didn't do it on porpoise!
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Mind Over Matter If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he felt crumby.
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Why did the squirrel cross the road? Because it was NUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree!
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Why did the A go to the bathroom and come out as an E? Because he had a vowel movement.
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Q)Where do penguins go to dance? A)The snowball
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Q: How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Four, one to change it and the other three to deny it.
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Why did the developer go broke? They kept spending all their cache.
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Can You Decipher This Phrase? B O N E S Broken bones!
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A farmer is going down the road with his horse pulling his wagon and his dog lying next to 'em. The farmer says, "It sure is hot out here." The horse turns back and says, "It sure is." The farmer says, "I didn't know horses could talk." The dog said, "Neither did I."
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You are young and beautiful, have 2 university degrees, and are fluent in 3 languages. You have long blonde hair, long legs and a killer smile and you want to earn a salary no less than 100 000$ per year. That's nice. But we need a plumber.
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Q. What do you call a cow that gives chocolate milk? A. An Utter Delight!
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Two muffins were sitting next to each other, in an oven, as they were being cooked. One muffin turned to the other muffin, and said, "Man, it's hot in here." Then the other muffin turned to the first muffin and screamed, "AHHH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"
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Teacher: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. Willy: Me
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Why do ducks make great detectives? They always quack the case.
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What is sin x divided by n? Canceling the "n" yields six.
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What does a cow do for entertainment? Listen to moo-sic.
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What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? You can't hear an enzyme!
— public joke corpus