Snake Under the Weather?
What is it called when your pet snake doesn't feel right? -reptile dysfunction.
— public joke corpus
Every joke I've kept
Surf instead →allone-liners 4222misc 1013animal 458classic 417general 345puns 264children 219at-work 211light-bulbs 191sports 153food 126programming 121money 100knock-knock 91medical 76science 55math 48bar 41music 41tech 40college 26family-parents 18men 18blonde-jokes 15computers 10crazy-jokes 9heaven-and-hell 9business 7deep-thoughts 7military 6one-liner 6women 6holidays 5police-jokes 5bar-jokes 3food-jokes 3idiots 3blind-jokes 2dad 2ethnic-jokes 2farmers 2ocean 2office-jokes 2old-age 2school 2state-jokes 1
Seen on a bumper sticker: "I don't care who's on board, what you love, who you brake for or what you'd rather be doing."
— public joke corpus
Q: How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb. A: None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
— public joke corpus
I found a way to make a horse stand perfectly still. Place a bet on him.
— public joke corpus
A golf club walks into a local bar and asked the barman for a pint of beer. The barman refused to serve him. "Why not?" asked the golf club. "You'll be driving later," replied the bartender.
— public joke corpus
Why did the developer go broke buying Bitcoin? He kept calling it bytecoin and didn't get any.
— public joke corpus
Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist? He sold his soul to Santa.
— public joke corpus
What did the father buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? - Bison!
— public joke corpus
Q: What do you call a dog with no hind legs and metal balls? A: Sparky!
— public joke corpus
Q: How many philosophers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 3. One to change it and the other two to argue whether the lightbulb really exists.
— public joke corpus
What do you do when you see a Mexican riding a bike? Throw a stone at him, it's your bike!
— public joke corpus
Q: How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb? A: One, but it takes at least three light bulbs.
— public joke corpus
Q: Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney? A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.
— public joke corpus
"Charles the First walked and talked half an hour after his head was cut off." Make sense? It should be- "Charles the First walked and talked. Half an hour after, his head was cut off."
— public joke corpus
Did you know that protons have mass? I didn't even know they were catholic.
— public joke corpus
Did you hear the one about the gay midget? He came out of the cupboard.
— public joke corpus
Indian chief addressing the tribe says: "I've got good news an bad news. The bad news is 5000 college students just moved next door to the reservation ... good news is, they taste like buffalo."
— public joke corpus
Q: How many [IBM] Technical Writers does it take to change a light bulb? A: 100. Ten to do it, and 90 to write document number GC7500439-0001, Multitasking Incandescent Source System Facility, of which 10% of the pages state only, ''This page intentionally left blank,'' and 20% of the definitions are of the form ''A
— public joke corpus
Q: How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: To get to the other side.
— public joke corpus
What's better than going to school? Having play time every day!
— public joke corpus