Every joke I've kept

Rap videos are completely unrealistic. Nobody has that many friends.

— onelinefun.com

Shout out to the people asking what the opposite of in is.

— onelinefun.com

Life is good you know. So I suggest you get one.

— onelinefun.com

What is the longest website domain name? smiles.com because there is a "mile" between the s's!

— onelinefun.com

Fathers Day is just like Mothers Day, only you don't spend as much.

— onelinefun.com

What does "reading comprehension" even mean?

— onelinefun.com

What did the beach say as the tide came in? Long time no sea.

— onelinefun.com

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

— onelinefun.com

If the speed of light is 186,000 miles/sec., what's the speed of darkness?

— onelinefun.com

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now when I get my electric bill, I am afraid of the light.

— onelinefun.com

Having teenagers is just paying for a bunch of dates that you don't get to go on.

— onelinefun.com

For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

— onelinefun.com

Nothing is impossible. The word itself says "I'm possible."

— onelinefun.com

First word in the world - Huh?

— onelinefun.com

Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.

— onelinefun.com

What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes!

— onelinefun.com

People say money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you had enough money, you can have a key made.

— onelinefun.com

I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner, all it was doing was gathering dust.

— onelinefun.com

Friends are forever. Until they get in a relationship.

— onelinefun.com

You know why there aren't any good science puns nowadays? Because all the good ones argon.

— onelinefun.com