I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer. For several evenings, at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer: "Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us from e-mail. Amen."
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What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose? Hare spray.
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Q: What do you call an Alabama farmer with two black sheep under each arm? A: A pimp
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What do you call a woman with one black eye? A fast learner.
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What's gray, has four legs, and a trunk? A mouse on vacation.
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Doctor: What is it that brought you here? Patient: An ambulance. Why?
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Why did the teacher have to put on her glasses during class? Because the kids were to bright!
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America is a land of untold wealth. - Internal Revenue Service.
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Nine cats were on a boat. One jumped off. How many were left? None. They were all copy-cats!
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Once, a blonde decided to ride a horse. She was riding quite pleasantly on a trail in a field until the horse speeded up. He was going faster and faster, and soon she felt herself slipping. Her head was just about to hit the ground... Then the Wal Mart manager ran to turn off the horsey ride.
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I sprayed my dog with spot remover. Now he is gone.
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I accidentally installed the deer whistles on my car backwards. Now everywhere I go, I'm chased by a herd of deer.
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汤å§æææäoï1⁄4æ æ3æä ̧åçè ̄3⁄4ãäoæ ̄å»æ室é»æ¿ä ̧åäoä ̧aéç¥ï1⁄4 Prof. Tom will not meet his classes this afternoon. æä ̧aè°ç®çå¦ççå°åï1⁄4æ3è·ææå1⁄4ä ̧aç©ç¬ï1⁄4æclassesåé¢çcæ¦ æäoã 汤å§ææä ̧åè· ̄è¿æ室æ¶åé¡oè· ̄è¿å»äoä ̧ä ̧ï1⁄4å¿ä ̧ä1⁄2ç¬äoï1⁄4éæå æ¦æäolã
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Why is it that there are so many more horses' asses than there are horses? - G. Gordon Liddy
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A boss of a computer company walked up to one of his workers. "You're fired!" exclaimed the boss. "I didn't do anything!" replied the confused worker. The boss, happy with his answer, says, "I know. That's why you're fired!"
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I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
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What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Q.)Your child poops in their pants- what do you do? A.)Drop off the child at day-care and make them change it.
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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A teacher says "spit your gum out" and a train says "choo choo!!"
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Why did the book have to go to the hospital? Because it injured its spine.
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