How many mathematicians does it take to replace a lightbulb? Pi. 3 screw exactly a radius's length, and the last about-one-seventh screws it in all the way!
— public joke corpus
Every joke I've kept
Surf instead →allone-liners 4222misc 1013animal 458classic 417general 345puns 264children 219at-work 211light-bulbs 191sports 153food 126programming 121money 100knock-knock 91medical 76science 55math 48bar 41music 41tech 40college 26family-parents 18men 18blonde-jokes 15computers 10crazy-jokes 9heaven-and-hell 9business 7deep-thoughts 7military 6one-liner 6women 6holidays 5police-jokes 5bar-jokes 3food-jokes 3idiots 3blind-jokes 2dad 2ethnic-jokes 2farmers 2ocean 2office-jokes 2old-age 2school 2state-jokes 1
Why are “Dad Jokes” so good? Because the punchline is apparent.
— public joke corpus
Q: Imagine you are stuck in a cell, no windows, no doors pretty much nothing. How do you get out? A: -Stop imagining!-
— public joke corpus
A guy goes up to his best friend and says, "Dude, I need you to do something for me, no questions asked." "Okay," says the friend. "What is it?" "I said no questions!"
— public joke corpus
During preseason training, a college football lineman married one of the team's cheerleaders. The coach was a bit surprised and remarked to his star football player, "You are such a big, burley guy. Why in the world did you marry such a tiny, petite woman? She is no bigger than your hand." "That's right, Coach," replied the lineman. "But, she's much better!"
— public joke corpus
Can you decipher this phrase? TTTTTTTTTT Tent.
— public joke corpus
What kind of triangle is never wrong??? A right triangle!!!!!!!
— public joke corpus
If winners never quit, and quitters never win... Who was the fool who said, "Quit while you're ahead".
— public joke corpus
A guy was smoking a cigarette. Another guy comes up to him and asks, "Do you have an extra cigarette?" The first guy looks at the box and reads that it contains 20 cigarettes. He counts all the cigarettes in his box and says,"Nope, don't got any extra cigarettes".
— public joke corpus
I passed my ethics exam. Naturally, I cheated.
— public joke corpus
Q: How many 'Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb? A: None: A 'Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
— public joke corpus
Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients, but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
— public joke corpus
Teacher: Justin if I had ten tennis balls in one hand, and twelve in another what would I have? Justin: Huge hands sir
— public joke corpus
Why was Cinderella kicked off the basketball team? She kept running away from the ball!!
— public joke corpus
How do you make a kleenex dance?You put a little boogie in it.
— public joke corpus
"All my life I wanted to be someone; I guess I should have been more specific." -Jane Wagner
— public joke corpus
What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
— public joke corpus
A dog went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof." The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog: "There are only nine words here. You could send another 'Woof' for the same price." The dog replied, "But that would make no sense at all."
— public joke corpus
What did one nut say as he chased another nut? I'm a cashew!
— public joke corpus
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur, a tiger, a crocodile, a spider, and a elephant? I don't know but you better get out of it's way!
— public joke corpus