There is a new trend in our office; everyone is putting names on their food. I saw it today, while I was eating a sandwich named Kevin.
— onelinefun.com
Every joke I've kept
Surf instead →allone-liners 4222misc 1013animal 458classic 417general 345puns 264children 219at-work 211light-bulbs 191sports 153food 126programming 121money 100knock-knock 91medical 76science 55math 48bar 41music 41tech 40college 26family-parents 18men 18blonde-jokes 15computers 10crazy-jokes 9heaven-and-hell 9business 7deep-thoughts 7military 6one-liner 6women 6holidays 5police-jokes 5bar-jokes 3food-jokes 3idiots 3blind-jokes 2dad 2ethnic-jokes 2farmers 2ocean 2office-jokes 2old-age 2school 2state-jokes 1
TRUE FRIENDSHIP: Walking into a persons house and your wifi connects automatically.
— onelinefun.com
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
— onelinefun.com
My job is secure. No one else wants it.
— onelinefun.com
I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago and so far all it's been doing is gathering dust.
— onelinefun.com
Maybe if we start telling people the brain is an app they will start using it.
— onelinefun.com
A straight face and a sincere-sounding "Huh?" have gotten me out of more trouble than I can remember.
— onelinefun.com
An optimist believes that we live in the best world. A pessimist is afraid that it might be true.
— onelinefun.com
Albert Einstein was a genius and worthy of praise and study. His brother Frank was an absolute monster.
— onelinefun.com
I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually, it came back to me.
— onelinefun.com
I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night. It took me a while to figure out it was just a Fanta sea.
— onelinefun.com
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned: couldn't concentrate.
— onelinefun.com
The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
— onelinefun.com
The only thing more important than your happiness is mine so get on it.
— onelinefun.com
Whatever you do always give 100 %. Unless you are donating blood.
— onelinefun.com
If a short psychic broke out of jail, then you'd have a small medium at large.
— onelinefun.com
The book on chronology I ordered has finally arrived. It's about time...
— onelinefun.com
I'm really good at stuff until people watch me do that stuff.
— onelinefun.com
When I call a family meeting I turn off the house wifi and wait for them all to come running.
— onelinefun.com
This morning some clown opened the door for me. I thought to myself that's a nice Jester.
— onelinefun.com