John always bullied Pat, so Pat invited him to the meat factory. The next day, on the menu at McDonalds, there was a new thing called: Bully Big Mac, and John french fries.
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Every joke I've kept
Surf instead →allmisc 970one-liners 644classic 417general 345animal 309puns 270children 220light-bulbs 191knock-knock 91at-work 63medical 61programming 59sports 49bar 45tech 42college 28blonde-jokes 23men 19family-parents 18computers 15women 15heaven-and-hell 11crazy-jokes 9business 8deep-thoughts 8military 8holidays 7science 7one-liner 6police-jokes 6money 5school 4bar-jokes 3food-jokes 3idiots 3ocean 3blind-jokes 2dad 2ethnic-jokes 2farmers 2math 2music 2office-jokes 2old-age 2state-jokes 1
Why are New Yorkers always depressed? Because the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey.
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Rap is to music as Etch-A-Sketch is to fine art.
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What if there were no hypothetical questions?Why does the word 'monosyllabic' have so many syllables?
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Q: How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb??A: 2, but don't ask me how they got in there!!
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This big-time rancher from Texas met a Missouri farmer on a business trip. The Texas rancher bragged, "I can get in my truck, drive all day, and never cross the boundary of my ranch!" "Yep," replied the little Missouri farmer, "I had a truck like that once, too."
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Q)what do you call a polar bear in the jungle? A)lost!
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Did you know Davy Crockett had three ears? No, how was that? He had a right ear,a left ear,and a wild frontier.
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Don't argue with an idiot. He may be doing the same thing.
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What is the similarity between Michael Jackson and a Playstation 2? They both are made of plastic, and they both get turned on by kids.
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When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
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Why Did the Dinosaur Cross the Road?
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens weren't invented yet.
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"How can I ever thank you?" gushed a woman to Clarence Darrow, after he had solved her legal troubles."My dear woman," Darrow replied, "ever since the Phoenicians invented money there has been only one answer to that question."
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Most of us have a bad habit we are constantly trying to break. For me, it's biting my fingernails. One day I told my husband about my latest solution: press-on nails. "Great idea, honey," he smiled. "You can eat them straight out of the box."
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Q: What happens when you pour boiling water on a bunny? A: A hot cross-buniken!
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Top Ten Changes at NASA to accommodate 76 year-old John Glenn's return to space aboard the shuttle "Discovery:"
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How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? He looks for one in a catalogue.
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What is the leading cause of dry skin? Towels
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Teacher: Vincent, not to be presumptuous, but your short story is truly fantastic. Did you really write it? Vincent: Yes, I wrote, while my mother dictated...
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A fisherman returned to shore with a giant marlin that was bigger and heavier than he. On the way to the cleaning shed, he met a second fisherman who had a stringer with a dozen baby minnows. The second fisherman looked at the marlin, turned to the first fisherman and said, "Only caught one, eh?"
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