An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
— public joke corpus
Every joke I've kept
Surf instead →allone-liners 4222misc 1013animal 458classic 417general 345puns 264children 219at-work 211light-bulbs 191sports 153food 126programming 121money 100knock-knock 91medical 76science 55math 48bar 41music 41tech 40college 26family-parents 18men 18blonde-jokes 15computers 10crazy-jokes 9heaven-and-hell 9business 7deep-thoughts 7military 6one-liner 6women 6holidays 5police-jokes 5bar-jokes 3food-jokes 3idiots 3blind-jokes 2dad 2ethnic-jokes 2farmers 2ocean 2office-jokes 2old-age 2school 2state-jokes 1
Q: Why do Hondas and Hyundais have standard rear-window defoggers? A: So your hands don't get cold when you're pushing them. Q: What is the difference between a Porsche and a Porcupine? A: With a Porsche, the pricks are on the inside.
— public joke corpus
I play in the low 80's. If it is hotter than that, I won't play.
— public joke corpus
Q: What is the difference between a fish and a piano ? A: You can't tuna fish.
— public joke corpus
I tried to walk into Target one day... I missed
— public joke corpus
Last time my friend went to the zoo, he got in trouble for feeding the monkeys... ...to the lions.
— public joke corpus
I asked my girl-friend what she would like for her birthday, and she said she would like a green jumper. So I bought her a frog.
— public joke corpus
Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had no frontal lobe.
— public joke corpus
Do doughnut shops need security systems?
— public joke corpus
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi!
— public joke corpus
Why can't a dalmatian puppy hide from his mom? 'Cause he's already been spotted!
— public joke corpus
a = b, b = c, a = c. Math Teacher: If a = b and b = c then a = c. Now give me the practical example of this principle from real life. Student: I love you, sir, and you love your daughter, which means I love your daughter.
— public joke corpus
Why is seven bigger than nine? Because seven ate nine.
— public joke corpus
Want to hear a chimney joke? Got stacks of em! First one's on the house
— public joke corpus
Ben never saw action on his high school football team. One day, the assistant coach gave him a pep talk. "Remember, Ben," he told him, "everyone on this team has an important role. There is no 'I' in 'team'." "True," said the boy. "But there is a 'Ben' in 'bench'."
— public joke corpus
Knock! Knock! Who's there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up and let me in!
— public joke corpus
Q. What little girl takes from the rich and gives to the poor? A. Little Red Robbin' Hood!
— public joke corpus
Why did the computer get sick? He left his windows open
— public joke corpus
I don't get why we teach little kids the popular saying "Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye." And we wonder what is with all the violence? I mean come on that's like 100% emo.
— public joke corpus
In North England: 'mornin' In West England : How ya doin' In India : Get up you lazy chit. Don't you need to go to work ?
— public joke corpus