Chuck Norris has two speeds - walk and kill. Chuck Norris sold law and order for using the names of his arms and legs. Chuck Norris hides his third arm underneath his beards. When Chuck Norris does a push up he is not pushing himself up, he is pushing the world down.
— public joke corpus
A girl walks into a bar and sits down with her friend. She is feeling down, so she talks to her friend. Her friend says "Go get a beer." She says she didn't want one. Then the friend says "Hey, who said it was for you?" copyright fox corp.
— public joke corpus
We're here on the airport, where a group of people have just arrived after being stranded on an island for more than a year.
— public joke corpus
Q: What did the seismologist say when he messed up? A: It's not my fault.
— public joke corpus
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
— public joke corpus
Steve is playing with his 3 friends at his tree in the back garden, and his mum comes out and shouts, "If all four of you fall out of that tree and break both legs, then don't come running to me!"
— public joke corpus
When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
— public joke corpus
Miss Blue(Teacher):"2 x 2 = 4, 4 x 4 = 16, and now, Brian, what is 16 x 16?" Brian(Pupil): "You cheated, Miss Blue. You always take the easy one and give us the hardest."
— public joke corpus
This Chinese man asks this guy what he does for a living. The guy says, 'I'm a comedian.' The Chinese guy says 'No, u no camedien!' The guy says, 'Yer, I am, honest.' The Chinese guy says, 'No, you're not, ploove it, change coror!' (He says it like chameleon)
— public joke corpus
What's worse than 10 babies in one dumpster? 1 baby in 10 dumpsters.
— public joke corpus
MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB Her father shot it dead Now it goes to school with her Between two hunks of bread.
— public joke corpus
Racing through the snow a onewarde southern sleigh, all the way we go bahing through the trees, the snow is turning red, I think i'm almost dead, all the children laugh and play around my stupid head!
— public joke corpus
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says "Dam".
— public joke corpus
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
— public joke corpus
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
— public joke corpus
Have you noticed since most people have a camcorder these days there are not as many people talking about seeing UFOs as there use to be?
— public joke corpus
Mik: "Do skunks have a good sense of smell?" Mak: "No! If they did, they'd jump off a cliff!"
— public joke corpus
What is Kermit the Frog's middle name? The.
— public joke corpus
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken and the road can't agree on anything.
— public joke corpus
I'm a nobody and nobody is perfect - therefore, I am perfect.
— public joke corpus