Q: Why is an elephant big, grey and wrinkly? A: Because if it was small, white and hard it would be an aspirin.
— public joke corpus
Every joke I've kept
Surf instead →allone-liners 4222misc 1013animal 458classic 417general 345puns 264children 219at-work 211light-bulbs 191sports 153food 126programming 121money 100knock-knock 91medical 76science 55math 48bar 41music 41tech 40college 26family-parents 18men 18blonde-jokes 15computers 10crazy-jokes 9heaven-and-hell 9business 7deep-thoughts 7military 6one-liner 6women 6holidays 5police-jokes 5bar-jokes 3food-jokes 3idiots 3blind-jokes 2dad 2ethnic-jokes 2farmers 2ocean 2office-jokes 2old-age 2school 2state-jokes 1
A man with two left feet walked into a shoe store and asked, " Do you have any flip-flips?"
— public joke corpus
Junk- something you keep for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
— public joke corpus
What if there were no hypothetical situations?
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Did you hear the one about the Polish wolf? He chewed off three legs and was still caught in the trap.
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Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
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What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.
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What is Tarzan's favorite Christmas song? Jungle Bells!
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What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; if ATC screws up, the pilot dies.
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This is the best joke ever! Give it a full smiley :) :) :) :)
— public joke corpus
Knock-knock Who's there? Boo! Boo who? Don't cry it's just a joke
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Q: What has eight legs, two trunks, four eyes, and two tails? A: Two elephants.
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What do you call sad coffee? Despresso.
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"While getting dressed one morning, I decided I have been spending waaaaay too much time on the computer, when I caught myself checking the lower right corner of my make-up mirror to see what time it was." - Unknown
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Billy: i know a person who is 35 and still in 4th grade! Eddie: Really! who? Billy: My teacher!
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A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.
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Doctor: "Does it hurt when you do this?" Patient: "Yes" Doctor: "Well, you shouldn't do it then."
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Q: What did the Dallas chief of police say when the elephant walked into the police station? A: Nothing! He didn't notice.
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What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam.
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What do you call a group of killer whales playing instruments? An Orca-stra.
— public joke corpus