Every joke I've kept

What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? 45 minutes.

— public joke corpus

16 More W K Than B K on a P

16 more white keys than black keys on a piano.

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Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach? Because they might peel!

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Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all the coffin.

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You know your are in Alaska when you go to court and they ask you where you were on the night of October to April!

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Q: How many roaches does it take to screw in a lightbulb???? A: Since when do roaches screw in lightbulbs?

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A tutor who tooted the flute Tried to teach two young tooters to toot Said the two to the tutor Is it harder to toot or To tutor two tooters to toot?

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So I said to the taxi driver, "King Arthur's Close." He said, "Don't worry, we'll lose him at the next set of lights." - Tommy Cooper.

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Knock-knock Who's there? Olive Olive who? Olive you!!!

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The Sergeant-Major growled at the young soldier: I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning. Thank you very much, sir.

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Teacher: John, where are the Great Plains? John: At the airport.

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The amount of sleep required by the average person is about five minutes more.

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My uncle is very superstitious. He won't work any week that has a Friday in it.

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Q: How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.

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Two wrongs do not make a right, but three rights make a left.

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Overheard at an exhibit in the science museum: "It says here that oxygen was discovered over two hundred years ago." "Wow! What did people breathe before that?"

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"I'd like the number for Christine Smith in Richmond, Virginia," the young man said to the 411 operator. "There are multiple listings for Christine Smith in Richmond, Virginia," the operator said. "Do you have a street name?" The young man hesitated a moment, "Well, uh, most people call me Snake."

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News just in - the drummer tripped over the cymbals, and hit his head. The hospital spokesperson said, "He'll be all right in a couple of days; he's just suffering from percussion."

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"Hey Sean, I've got a job lined up for you, can you turn up tomorrow, about tenish?" "Tennish? I don't even have a racket"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? Bless you!

— public joke corpus