Every joke I've kept

What is the difference between a lawyer and a wood tick? A wood tick falls off when you die.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Banana ! Banana who ? Banana split, so ice creamed !

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How do you get two whales in a car? Start in England and drive West.

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Where There's a Will, There's a Way

A wealthy man had a falling out with his two sons. It was serious enough that he decided to change his will. At his lawyer's office, he threw his will on the table and said, "This needs an heircut."

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When I die I want to go peacefully - like my grandfather did - in his sleep. Not screaming like the passengers in his car.

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What's better than roses on your piano?? Tulips on your organ! (two-lips)

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Psychologists have discovered that the manner in which people eat Oreo cookies provides great insight into their personalities. Choose which method best describes your favorite method of eating Oreos: Your Personality:

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Q: Where do cows go on Saturday nights? A: To the moovies

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Hey! I recognize you! You're the third one over on the evolutionary scale!

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A bag of Cheetos has a contest. It says "No Purchase neccesary" but the code is on the inside...

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Why did the frog cross the road? A: He was tied onto the chicken.

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A Chinese couple got married and were now known as Mr. Wong and Mrs. Wong. However, they didn't know why, but they couldn't have white children. So they went to the doctor to find out what the problem was, and they told him the story and the doctor replied, "Didn't you know?" "Two Wongs don't make a white!"

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Why don't programmers like nature? There's too many bugs.

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Where does Fonzie like to go for lunch? Chick-Fil-Eyyyyyyyy.

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How do you generate a random string? Put a Windows user in front of Vim and tell them to exit.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and walks up to the bar. The bartender says "hey, we have a drink named after you!" "Really?" asks the grasshopper, "You have a drink named Steve?"

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Try to refrain from referring to this website or the users of this website in the jokes you post on Wocka. This is mainly because most of the people who read the jokes might not understand the reference to a particular person and they will rate the joke poorly because they do not understand it.

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Sean: I've finally cleared my mind! Dean: Does your new one work?

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There's a true story about a convicted con man who was recently found to be impersonating a lawyer in New York City. To which the judge remarked, "I should have suspected he wasn't a lawyer. He was always so punctual and polite."

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Joke: Why does Snoop Dogg Carry an umbrella? Answer: For Drizzle my nizzle

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