Every joke I've kept

What’s brown and sounds like a bell? Dung!

— public joke corpus

How many amoebas does it take to change a light bulb? 1. No, 2, no, 4, no, 8, no, 16, 32, 64, 128 . . .

— public joke corpus

What do you call a sheep with no eyes? A blind sheep (what else?)

— public joke corpus

When physics meets Star Wars: May the net force be with you!

— public joke corpus

Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a quiet smoke. Jack returned with lung cancer and Jill a fatal stroke.

— public joke corpus

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

— public joke corpus

What do you call ten blondes standing in a line?A windtunnel

— public joke corpus

Irvin is driving down the freeway to go to work when his cell phone rings. It's his wife: "Irving,I just heard on the news that there's a car going down the freeway in the wrong direction. Please try to be careful." "It's true,"Irving replies,"But not just one car- there are hundreds of them!"

— public joke corpus

Why do wizards clean their teeth three times a day? To prevent bat breath!

— public joke corpus

Atlas is the biggest thief in history, because he held up the whole world.

— public joke corpus

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

— public joke corpus

Knock Knock! Who's there? Little boy blue. Little Boy Blue who? Micheal Jackson!!!!!

— public joke corpus

Do you know what the word 'was' was initially? Before was was was was was is.

— public joke corpus

The secret to enjoying a good wine is: 1 - Open the bottle to allow it to breathe. 2 - When it does not breathe, give it mouth-to-mouth

— public joke corpus

What is a kangaroo's favorite restaurant? IHOP!

— public joke corpus

Don't you have a terribly empty feeling - in your skull?

— public joke corpus

Wife: When we were younger you used to nibble on my ear. (The husband starts leaving the room. )Wife: Where are you going?Husband: To get my teeth!"

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Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

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Brad: I have to take three courses in college; French, Spanish, and algebra Chris: Okay, let me hear you say hi in algebra.

— public joke corpus

Overheard in a doctor's waiting room: "My uncle had a cough like yours and he died. Mind you, he was hiding under his neighbour's bed at the time."

— public joke corpus