If you boil a clown... Do you get a laughing stock?
— public joke corpus
Every joke I've kept
Surf instead →allmisc 970one-liners 644classic 417general 345animal 309puns 270children 220light-bulbs 191knock-knock 91at-work 63medical 61programming 59sports 49bar 45tech 42college 28blonde-jokes 23men 19family-parents 18computers 15women 15heaven-and-hell 11crazy-jokes 9business 8deep-thoughts 8military 8holidays 7science 7one-liner 6police-jokes 6money 5school 4bar-jokes 3food-jokes 3idiots 3ocean 3blind-jokes 2dad 2ethnic-jokes 2farmers 2math 2music 2office-jokes 2old-age 2state-jokes 1
Q: How many libertarians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Libertarians never change light bulbs, because someone might enter the room who wants to sit in the dark.
— public joke corpus
I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.
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How do you keep an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow!
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There is a lot of talk about the United Nations creating a combined strike force with troops from several nations included in it. Could it work? Let's take a look at one operation. A combined force beach landing on a tropical island. When the troops hit the beach...
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Life is full of uncertainties...or could I be wrong about that?
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit? A blood orange.
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Knock Knock. Who's there? Toulose. Toulose who? I don't want to lose to anybody!
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Q. What's the difference between your wife and your job ? A. After 5 years your job will still suck.
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Q. Have you heard of the dyslexic cow who attained enlightenment? A. It kept on repeating OOOOMMM!
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Why is it dangerous to go in the jungle after 5 p.m? Because elephants jump out of trees after 5 p.m. Why do beavers have flat tails? Because they go in the jungle after 5 p.m!
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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves. - W. C. Fields.
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Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
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It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
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What is Mary short for? For having no legs, of course...If you didn't have any, you would be short too.
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I can't tell if i like this blender... It keeps giving me mixed results.
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What do you call a dinosaur that is able to give you a synonym for any word you give him? Answer: A Thesaurus! :)
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There are two rules for success in life: Rule 1 - Don't tell people everything you know.
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A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said "Why did you put up such a fight?" To which the man replied, "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!"
— public joke corpus
Teenager: Dad, did you hear that Jake broke up with Taylor? Dad: Oh no, another album.
— public joke corpus