A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks, "What are you doing?!!" The blind man replies, "Just looking around."
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Five policemen were on a boat. The boat sank. How many policemen died? 10 - five during the accident, and five during the re-enactment.
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1. Did you hear about the man who had a shower without getting his hair wet? He was bald! 2. Did you hear about the boy who was named after his father? His name was Dad!
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Recently I was behind a car with three bumper stickers: Don't be fooled by genetically engineered food--demand labels and safety testing for food; Eat for the health of it; and Support organic farmers." The car was in front of me at a McDonalds drive-through.
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Q. What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a pitbull ? A. Lipstick.
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Two maggots were playing billiards. One says, "I'm bored." The other replies, "Beats fishing."
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Sometimes you are the dog. Sometimes you are the hydrant
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A blonde walking by the river came across another blonde directly across from her. The first blonde waved to the other and said "hey, how do i get to the other side"? The other blonde answered "You're already on the other side".
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What is red, black, has ten eyes, and crawls? I do not know but it is on your head.
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Dreams are like underpants. You've got 'em, but you can't prove you do by showing it to everyone.
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Want to hear a really big joke? JOKE!
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Can You Decipher This Phrase? R U N Run down!
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What do you get when you cross a React developer with a mathematician? A function component.
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A lady took her Poodle to the parlor for a haircut. When she asked what it would cost, the girl behind the counter told her "$60."The lady was outraged: "I only pay 50 bucks for my own haircut!""But you don't bite, do you?" the girl replied.
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Foreign Film Any movie shown in a Texas theater that isn't a western.
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Knock-knock Who's there? Stew Stew who? Stew cold out here, let me in!
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From Harper's Magazine: Amount of pizza eaten each day in U.S. (acres): 75.
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Q: How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None. It's left to the reader as an exercise. A: One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke. A: One. He gives it to five Oregonians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke. A: In an earlier article, zeus!bobr writes:
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Knock-knock Who's there It's me. This is not a joke. It's me. This is not a joke. who? Grrrrrrrrrr...
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What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock? Look, no hands!
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