Every joke I've kept

What do vegetarian zombies eat? Grrrrrainnnnnssss.

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Heard over the hospital public address system: Due to a mix up in Urology, no apple juice will be served this morning.

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A duck, a skunk, and a frog go to the movies. Tickets cost one dollar. Which animal doesn't get in? The skunk! The frog has a green back, the duck has a bill, but the skunk only has a scent.

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Jerry Jones calls Michael Irvin in for a meeting:"Michael" he says, That was a close one & you'll have to be careful from now on.""What do you recommend boss?""From now on it's Pepsi & Nike, not COKE & NOOKIE"

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TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of 'COINCIDENCE?'" STUDENT: "Sir, my mother and my father got married on the same day, same time."

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What's the worst part about being a cross-eyed teacher? They can't control their pupils.

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How does a train eat? It goes chew, chew

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A man walks into a bar. He falls down, unconscious. Why is this? Because the man walked into a solid bar. A solid, metal bar!

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What do you call a troublesome Canadian high schooler? A poutine.

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What did the duck say when he bought lipstick? Put it on my bill

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What do you call a factory that sells passable products? A satisfactory

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What was the pumpkin’s favorite sport? Squash.

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If all those sweet young things were laid end to end – I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

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Mary went to the doctor complaining of body odor."Do you wash?" the doctor asked the smelly young girl."Oh, yes," Mary answered. "Each morning, I start at my head andwash down as far as possible. Then I start at my feet and I washup as far as possible.""Well," the doctor concluded, "Go home and wash 'possible'!!!"

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At weddings old people poke me and say, "You're next!" At funerals, I do the same.

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If you would like to link your web site to Wocka.com, please freely bookmark or add links to any page contained within this web site provided that this site does not appear inside any frames.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? I didn't know you could yodel!

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!

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My grandson is four and can recite the whole Gettysburg Address. Abraham Lincoln couldn't do it until he was fifty-four. - Sam Levenson.

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Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

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