How do you scare a snowman? You get a hairdryer!
— onelinefun.com
Every joke I've kept
Surf instead →allone-liners 4222misc 1013animal 458classic 417general 345puns 264children 219at-work 211light-bulbs 191sports 153food 126programming 121money 100knock-knock 91medical 76science 55math 48bar 41music 41tech 40college 26family-parents 18men 18blonde-jokes 15computers 10crazy-jokes 9heaven-and-hell 9business 7deep-thoughts 7military 6one-liner 6women 6holidays 5police-jokes 5bar-jokes 3food-jokes 3idiots 3blind-jokes 2dad 2ethnic-jokes 2farmers 2ocean 2office-jokes 2old-age 2school 2state-jokes 1
My parents, age 25: "We have a mortgage, a baby and a pension plan!" Me, age 25: "It's 3am and i can't afford an uber good thing i wore my running shoes!"
— onelinefun.com
If breaks are meant to be slow... then why do they call it "breakfast"?
— onelinefun.com
People who use selfie sticks really need to have a good, long look at themselves.
— onelinefun.com
How do we know that soccer referees are happy? Because they whistle while they work.
— onelinefun.com
Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine? He fell in love with a pincushion!
— onelinefun.com
If you're looking for the best time to spill things on yourself, might I suggest wearing a white shirt and right before an interview.
— onelinefun.com
Our conscience is clear- we don't use it.
— onelinefun.com
What is an astronaut's favorite key on a keyboard? Space!
— onelinefun.com
The more vital your research, the less people will understand it.
— onelinefun.com
Hard work is simply the refuge of people who have nothing whatever to do.
— onelinefun.com
Today is your birthday, so congratulate yourself, especially if you're still young enough to remember it.
— onelinefun.com
Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student? Because education pays off in the long run!
— onelinefun.com
Did you know that Santa's not allowed to go down chimneys this year? It was declared unsafe by the Elf and Safety Commission.
— onelinefun.com
Happy Mother's Day! Yes, it's today. How fast can you glue macaroni into a bracelet?
— onelinefun.com
The early bird gets the worm but the late worm gets to live.
— onelinefun.com
My favorite part of Fall is walking through a hundred spider webs a day and screaming every single time.
— onelinefun.com
What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine's Day? Cauliflowers!
— onelinefun.com
A large group of other people's children is called a "Nope".
— onelinefun.com
What do you call a very small valentine? A valentiny.
— onelinefun.com