Every joke I've kept

Did you hear the story about the giraffe? Forget it its too long.

— onelinefun.com

How much did the butcher charge for his venison? A buck!

— onelinefun.com

You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

— onelinefun.com

Don't join the new TESCO dating service, my mate did and he ended up with a bag for life.

— onelinefun.com

How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus? At the circus, the clowns don't talk.

— onelinefun.com

Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? Because their kids have to play inside!

— onelinefun.com

There are two types of people in this world: Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.

— onelinefun.com

Why are spiders great tennis players? Cause they have great topspin.

— onelinefun.com

What did one ghost say to another ghost? "Do you believe in people?"

— onelinefun.com

I am so single once I tried to change my Facebook status from single to relationship, captcha pops on my screen Facebook thought I may be a robot.

— onelinefun.com

Tea is like F5 to me, it's refreshing.

— onelinefun.com

I could make jokes about bears, but they are unbearable.

— onelinefun.com

What kind of motorbike does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson!

— onelinefun.com

I hate jokes about prom. The punch line is always too long.

— onelinefun.com

I will have enough money for the rest of my life. Of course, if I don't buy and eat anything.

— onelinefun.com

I never ask my kids to call me, I just change the Netflix password and then don't respond to their texts.

— onelinefun.com

An idea came to the mind, and now she's searching for the brain.

— onelinefun.com

Becoming a parent is great. It's a beautiful and rewarding experience. It's almost as good as not becoming one.

— onelinefun.com

What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray!

— onelinefun.com

To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid.

— onelinefun.com