Every joke I've kept

Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages? Because there were too many knights.

— onelinefun.com

What happened to the egg when he was tickled too much? He cracked up.

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When do people start using their trampoline? Spring-Time.

— onelinefun.com

My Mom has been smelling something burning since 1983.

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Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful to have a job. I just wish it wasn't THIS job.

— onelinefun.com

Just about the time when you think you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

— onelinefun.com

I just want to live in a world where people come with on/off switches.

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Relationship Status: I'm a Rubik's Cube. Now try and figure me out.

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How did the soggy Easter Bunny dry himself? With a hare dryer!

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I would tell you a joke about my shoe but I think I shoedn't.

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I can't jump over a cow, but you should check out my calves.

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Inflation: Being broke with a lot of money in your pocket.

— onelinefun.com

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?

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I'd pat my own back but my ego is too busy shaking my hand.

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In my spare time I like to read, write, and fall in love with unavailable people.

— onelinefun.com

I'm having an introvert party and you're all not invited.

— onelinefun.com

I've been waiting for the bus so long, someone just stapled a lost cat flyer to my chest.

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I'm sure there's a supplement I could take or another easy solution to cure my laziness. Someone look into it for me.

— onelinefun.com

Why are fish never good tennis players? They don't like getting close to the net.

— onelinefun.com

Goes to the gym, lays on the mat to stretch, falls asleep.

— onelinefun.com