What goes oh oh oh? Santa walking backwards
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Every joke I've kept
Surf instead →allmisc 970one-liners 644classic 417general 345animal 309puns 270children 220light-bulbs 191knock-knock 91at-work 63medical 61programming 59sports 49bar 45tech 42college 28blonde-jokes 23men 19family-parents 18computers 15women 15heaven-and-hell 11crazy-jokes 9business 8deep-thoughts 8military 8holidays 7science 7one-liner 6police-jokes 6money 5school 4bar-jokes 3food-jokes 3idiots 3ocean 3blind-jokes 2dad 2ethnic-jokes 2farmers 2math 2music 2office-jokes 2old-age 2state-jokes 1
Pilot: "Pilot to tower. I am 300 miles from land. 600 feet over water and running out of fuel. Please instruct!" Tower: "Tower to pilot. Tower to pilot. Repeat after me, 'Our Father, who art in heaven...'"
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Nothing is fool proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
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Can You Decipher This Phrase? knee light light Neon lights!
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The one item you need is always in short supply.
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why did the 1 handed man cross the road??to get to the second hand shop
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Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? A: As many as it takes to make a pile big enough to climb on to reach the bulb. Notes: Ugh!
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Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road?Because he didn't have the guts.
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What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
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Astronomers were excited this week at having isolated a brief sound which occurred immediately before the Big Bang. Apparently, that sound was "Uh oh."
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Q. Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry? A. They're afraid of flying off the handle!
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Thngs Not To Say To A Cop #1
Hey, I saw you in Dunkin' donuts yesterday!! You're the one ordering triple chocolate, double vanilla, quadrupal cinnamon and double whip cream dounut filled with sprinkles.
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Tonto and the Lone Ranger were lost one day. The Lone Ranger says to Tonto, 'Use your Indian instincts and get us out of this mess.'Tonto bends down and put his ear to the ground. He turns and says to the Lone Ranger, 'Buffalo come.' The Lone Ranger says to Tonto 'How do you know?' Tonto Says 'Ear sticky'
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What is represented by this? Way One Way!
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This is true! In a speech George W. Bush made in 2001 he concluded: But all in all, my wife and I have had a wonderful year! (2001 was the year that the Twin Towers were destroyed)
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What does the mermaid wear to math class? Algae-bra.
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What do you get when a dinosuar stubs its toe? A: Stubasaurus
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Q. Who likes to make dinner for Peter Pan? A. Captain Cook!
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Q: why did the man get fired from the Orange Juice factory? A: He wasn't concentrating.
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There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
— public joke corpus