Every joke I've kept

What is the world's sharpest thing? A fart! It goes through your pants without leaving a hole!

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Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

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One day in summer, Jack was going to visit his friend John. When he got to his house, he saw John, who was dressed in his warmest winter coats. "What are you doing? Are you nuts? It's the middle of summer!" cried Jack. "I am painting my house. And on the can, it says you must put two coats on."

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Please contact us. We are happy to answer questions, and we are always eager to make Wocka.com a better place.

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Teacher: Recite your tables to me, Joan. Joan: Dining table, kitchen table, bedside table...

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Why did the limping man sit on a scorpion? He thought that it would be "pinched"!

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You know what would be odd? Some one with a deep, dark voice calls you and says, "I know what your phone number is...heh heh..."

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What did the male rabbit buy the female rabbit for her birthday? 14 carrot gold!

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Q: Why do they have trees in Paris? A: So the Germans can march in the shade instead of the sun.

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Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly?

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What do you call a pig with three eyes? Piiig

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Why do men die normally die before their wives?Because they want to.

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Michael Jackson was on a cruise with 100 Boy Scouts when the ship hit an iceberg and started to sink. The captain announced, "Everyone abandon ship! We're going down!" Michael asked, "What about the children?" The captain replied, "Screw the children!" Michael looked around eagerly and asked, "Do we have time?"

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Who tows the tow trucks when they break down?

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Q: What's a pick up line in a gay bar?? A: Would you like me to push your stool in?

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Talk about anything you want here. O.K. I will. You really need to quit submitting jokes like this. Anybody agree with me?

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A pregnant woman was taking a shower and her three year old daughter said,"Mommy, you're getting fat!"And the mother replied,"That because a baby is growing in my tummy."To which the daughter said,"Yeah,but what's growing in you butt?"

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2 = special administrative regions in China. (Hong Kong and Macau)

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I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

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there were three people walking on the street.a smart blonde, a stupid blonde and santa clause.suddenly, they see on the ground 100$.question : wich of them pick it up ? Answer:the stupid blonde !Why?because the smart blonde and santa clause don't exist, they are fiction.

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