Every joke I've kept

Why didn't the dog want to play football? It was a boxer!

— onelinefun.com

Why did the snowman call his dog Frost ? Because frost bites !

— onelinefun.com

The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.

— onelinefun.com

Why, yes, I am dressed for the weather.I am wearing a house.

— onelinefun.com

I asked my friend for a sharpened pencil, but he didn't have one. I always knew he was a little dull...

— onelinefun.com

Why did the robot go on summer vacation? He needed to recharge his batteries.

— onelinefun.com

I don't like telling dairy jokes 'cause they're always too cheesy.

— onelinefun.com

I get most of my daily exercise from shrugging.

— onelinefun.com

I was going to be a computer forensics expert, but couldn't hack IT.

— onelinefun.com

Tarzan doesn't have a beard. Yet he lives in the jungle for over 30 years.

— onelinefun.com

Best Summer Vacation Book Never Written: "Where to Stay on Vacation" by Moe Tell.

— onelinefun.com

I always give 110%. Oops. Left out the decimal point. I always give 1.10%.

— onelinefun.com

Whenever I get on my roof to clean the gutters, I always slip and fall. Every shingle time.

— onelinefun.com

Remember: You can eat your way out of almost any problem.

— onelinefun.com

I would count my blessings on Thanksgiving, but my relatives outnumber them.

— onelinefun.com

What do you call six weeks of rain in Scotland? Summer!

— onelinefun.com

Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable? Because it's all heart.

— onelinefun.com

How come you're responsible if you do your taxes in March, but I'm crazy when I do my trick-or-treating in September?

— onelinefun.com

Why did the student study in an airplane? He wanted a higher education!

— onelinefun.com

Why can't pigs tell a joke? Because they're such a bore.

— onelinefun.com