My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes. Their Disney password was "GoofyMickeyMinniePluto" and I asked why it was so long. "Because," my son explained, "they said it had to have at least four characters."
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While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage.The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign . . ."Energy efficient vehicle. Runs on oats and grass.Caution: Do not step on exhaust."
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Jt/xmktp?akhjgp/uqpuRujgrt/pvP/tq/tkHqtjhqtjb!)<(]{,twmjtwmjtwmkadnjgptkgptjafmjipV9mkBRiECl88888888888888888888888888888888888888887777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777I won at the slots! modge???? i m ?!?! bubbye *cheffy!=
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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.
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Q: How many Harvard grads does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Just one. He grabs the bulb and waits for the world to revolve around him.
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What do you call a rabbit who tells jokes? A FUNNY BUNNY!
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I got hit in the head by a soda can, but it didn't hurt that much... It was a soft drink.
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Tex: "My uncle can shoot a gun faster than any other man in the West. He can even shoot without removing the gun from his Holster." Rex: "What do they call your uncle?" Tex: "Toeless Joe."
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OK, let's consider the physical evidence. The moon is moving away at a tiny, although measurable distance from the Earth every year. Do the math and you will clearly see that 85 million years ago it was orbiting the earth at a distance of about 35 feet from the earth's surface. This would explain the death of the dinosaurs; the tallest ones, anyway
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God: "Whew! I just created a 24-hour period of alternating light and darkness on Earth." Angel: "What are you going to do now?" God: "Call it a day."
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LADY TO BEGGAR- Why don't you get a job? BEGGAR- Actually, I'm an author. I once wrote a book entitled "One Hundred Ways to Make Money." LADY- Well then why are you begging? BEGGAR- It's one of my ways...
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Why did the fireman wear red, white, and blue suspenders? To hold his pants up.
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Knock, knock, knock! Who's there, i' th' name of Beelzebub? Here's a farmer that hanged himself on the expectation of plenty. Come in time, have napkins enough about you, here you'll sweat for 't.
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The law of drunkenness- You can't fall off the floor.
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I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a knob called 'brightness' but it doesn't work.
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I did your mom... ...a favor by making you... ...lunch.
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Why did the squirrel go to the acorn shop? He broke his nuts on something!
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wat do u call a female dog?
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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the other side! Why did the Mexican Chicken cross the Border? To get to the U.S.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?New Jersey got to pick first.
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