Why did the programmer always carry a pencil? They preferred to write in C#.
— public joke corpus
Every joke I've kept
Surf instead →allmisc 970one-liners 644classic 417general 345animal 309puns 270children 220light-bulbs 191knock-knock 91at-work 63medical 61programming 59sports 49bar 45tech 42college 28blonde-jokes 23men 19family-parents 18computers 15women 15heaven-and-hell 11crazy-jokes 9business 8deep-thoughts 8military 8holidays 7science 7one-liner 6police-jokes 6money 5school 4bar-jokes 3food-jokes 3idiots 3ocean 3blind-jokes 2dad 2ethnic-jokes 2farmers 2math 2music 2office-jokes 2old-age 2state-jokes 1
I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other
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How do spell mousetrap with only three letters? C-A-T
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If you think about it, a muffin is just a bald cupcake!
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What did the pirate say when he got cold? Shiver me timbers!!!
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Q: How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out). A: It's out?? Sell my G.E. stock NOW!
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Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
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Why do they call them "apartments" when they're so close together?
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WHO ARE YOU????!!! (a Mik From Mik and Mak Joke)
Mik walked home from work and saw 4 people dressed in grim reaper suits. He ran home. The next time,the next time and 6 more walks for home, he decided to confront them. He yelled "who ARE you"????!!! They chased him into a wall. "s-s- Show yourself" he squeaked. They took their masks off and yelled "Hi, we're the wiggles!"
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What did the whale say to the dolphin when he pushed him? I didn't do it on porpoise!
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Mind Over Matter If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he felt crumby.
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Why Did the Squirrel Cross the Road
Why did the squirrel cross the road? Because it was NUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree!
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Whats a blondes favorite nursury rhyme?humpme dumpme
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Why did the A go to the bathroom and come out as an E? Because he had a vowel movement.
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Q)Where do penguins go to dance? A)The snowball
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Q: How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Four, one to change it and the other three to deny it.
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Why did the developer go broke? They kept spending all their cache.
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Can You Decipher This Phrase? B O N E S Broken bones!
— public joke corpus